Self Improvement Journal

Small World.

2009-05-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

lol.. Im a member of a online car forum for the past 6+years... we are practically a family... in the off-topic section that is member's only private.... I would post stories about my sexual exploits that are a bit crazy... and I just have to share. So I post a story... and on a NON-RELATED note.. I post pics of a different woman and say... and this girl I am also trying to pursue.
I get a private message, asking me to take down the pic and dont contact her. I call it out as a bullshit from a hater... she tells me the name of the girl... so she is legit.. she knows this girl. WOW! I send her an message back saying...how I am not out to exploit this girl... hell she could be marriage material for all i know... and I only post stories about girls that really have no future with me or are just plain crazy. I just posted her pic because she is super cute."
She agrees with me... and says she was just upset to see her cousin in the pic ( pic of three girls in one...small world.) and agrees that she can do whatever she wants.

A week goes by... I go to my show in vegas... I come back and email the girl I am pursuing... and fireworks come from her: "dont ever contact me again, you pervert! Your blog is disgusting blah, blah, blah."

ridiculous... the one girl called me out to the other... and now this one is threatening me with.. if I contact her again ( which I wont.)... that she will tell my brothers wife about my twisted blog.

If you read some of my other field reports.. its more of the same in that nature on this blog.. but with more insights to my inner game and what was going on in my head ( nice tits, I wanted to finger bang her to death in the bathroom... you know... guy talk exploitative to a degree. Whatever... I keep it interesting and truthful... what the hell.)

give me a f'ckn break. whatever. I didnt bother replying to her. I can only imagine what would have happened if I attended this 80's theme party I was suppose to go to.. and what hysterics I might have faced.
She kicked me off her friends list on facebook too. LOL! Im still going to be cordial and all if I see her again. Oh well.

The End.

Summer 2009 Begins... with cleaning house.

2009-05-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

Laugh, well its time I updated this blog... I totally forgot about it. I am going to do a little bit of cleanup in here. Not that I dont enjoy reading my previous victories and defeats... but yea my stylee has changed and it doesnt really show in here... also due to the fact I have not updated this site since ahhhhh.... January 2009... and now its May.

I decided to post a link to my flickr photos... instead of editing every post with pics... call me lazy... but I lived it.. and this blog is really for myself... not to impress anyone.

here is the link....

and here are some notes on the pics....

page1: Michelle and Kimberly (twins.) corresponds with the story about the twins.
page1: Jenna.... girl from speakeasys I pursued, and then left it in the friends zone. I really, really liked this girl and she wasnt ready for a long term relationship and I pushed too hard, lesson learned.
page1: the model girl from NYC.... what can I say... I have a copy of seriously twisted cybersex encounter with her... she is a bored housewife that loves to be dominated and humiliated apparently. She wanted her face to be shoved into a toilet. She is sick of guys that worship her.
Learned some interesting outlooks on life from her.. and married/bored life living in nyc.

Page2: Tami Fox, awesome fun girl, former model, met her about 3 years ago. Now living down by the ocean. She was raped by a stalker, and the police did nothing about it. She is recovering.
lost contact after she moved, I hope she is doing well.
Page2: milf... for obvious reasons I cant post a pic of her face without a blindfold...she is married.
page2: Brigitte... she is like a superhero to me, a total sweetheart, I have so much respect for her. A good friend, never even kissed her.. lots of hugs.
Page2: Shells, ok... I pursued this girl after meeting her through a friend... then after seeing how just melodramatic she can be... she isnt for me. A bit of a drama queen... and this makeup...wtf.
Page2: Stella, dated her for 2 years in NJ, she wrote an independent film that is loosely based on our relationship: www.prettyinredmovie.com, we barely keep in touch via email.
Page3: Becca, cool girl... gorgeous face... I love hanging out with this girl. I think I posted a blog entry about one night with her.
Page3: Yanna, girl from russia... met her at Hemmingways... awesome night out... defiently posted a blog about that night. Sadly... she goes back to russia just when that war started up with one of the satelite countries she is from: Osesia. I have no idea if she is alive or dead.
Page3: Madonna... without the photoshopping and makeup...this is the reality.
Page3: FAIL.... this pic speaks volumes about how shitty your night can be if your lame.
Page3: pics of playboy models selling my playboy shwag in the playboy catalog.
Page4: Keellin.. when she use to model in Venezuela.
Page4: At this moment I forgot her name... but she is super smart a physist from USC... one date.. she wanted me to fuck her on the first date.. and I was thinking long term.. and just kissed her... She says nothing but good things about me... and me the same for her. We are just friends now... didnt work out. I wish her the best.
Page4: Lacie ( gym shorts).... she was divorced when I met her... dated briefly... too far of a drive to pursue her, she would call me "Andy Man" lol. So yea she still likes me.
Page4: The rest is pics from work at playboy... and the Springbreak "WET" party I organized.
Page 5: more pics from Playboy...and the milf... on xmas day.
Page6: Milf... video screen caps ;)
Page6: I got interested in makeing those demotivation posters... funny stuff. Was curious to see how far they would go around the internet... pretty far actually. Some found, some written by me... the dirty holes one... LOL... open that one up and look around the pic and you will "get it".

Its almost the end of January

2009-01-28T17:08:00.001-08:00

What the hell is wrong with me... here we go:

haha! Since work has been so slow, and I work out of my house... started to slack on the shaving really bad...not mention the hair as stated previously...anyway yea so nearly a beard was appearing. So the milf F-buddy, emails and texts me that she wants to play.

Sweet, she loved it last time.. when I placed a blindfold on her during sex.

This time was going to be awesome... I tell her that the front door will be unlocked.. to let herself in, but I want her to keep her eyes shut.

She is so compliant, and sure enough... about an hour later she is in my livingroom with her eyes closed... dressed for sex, I got pics.. I place a blindfold over her eyes, and tighten it really good.

first i thought it was a matching gym suit, I take that off... and she is wearing.. a black/pink bra... with a black fishnet shirt on top, short black biker shorts, black knee high lace leggings, and black leather high boots. Rhinestone chocker necklace, black cotton fingerless gloves..and this ring with a skull and crossbones on it.

Can we say... "insert cock" everywhere stamped all over her or not?

5'8 117 pounds, dirty blonde hair, MILF. Daily runner.

I didnt say a word as I came close to her and grabbed her wrists...and pulled them behind her back.. she would let out these sharp... hisssss sounds like her breath was being taken away.

So I start caressing her body.. and still NOT saying a word... I take her hand and bring it up to my face... and she feels my beard stubble.. the expression on her cheeks..was like.... uhhhhh... wait a minute.

Oh she was naked by now too and getting roughly f-ed.

She kept trying to get me to talk and I would put my hand over her lips.... Sex gets crazy now... not going to get into details... but every hole serviced.I take off the blindfold and she has this look of like... a little confusion... and apprehension... and then starts laughing hysterically and hugging me.... says.."I swear, if you didnt wear your cologne... I would have thought it really was someone else.... That was a AMAZING!" Big, big, Smile.

note to self about cologne, and performing this on another girl.
The end.

the last 30 days...

2009-01-03T00:32:00.000-08:00

fuck I know I need to keep this uptodate for my own benifit.. so here goes with whats been going on as best that I can remember it all.. its 3:30am and my mind is a bit foggy on some stuff.. but here goes.

Lets call one girl..Volcanoe.. because when I first met her she had these really nerdy glasses.. and was cool as hell to talk with.. I grabbed her phone and gave her my number... number exchange.. shit was tight.. then my cousin tells me that she doesnt give up the ass that easy.. and somethin about a boyfriend.. so I negged her on having a boyfriend and moved on.. eye contact was like 100000x awesome.. I was locked in. Sure enough, I see her a few night closer to xmas.. or thanksgiving.. forget... and omfg.. I didnt pay attention to the body.. the body is pure porno stylee. I been chipping away at this ice on her, even tonight. I showed her my intent tonight.. and she said that if it doesnt work out with some dude ( claimed to have a bf.. but I think its bullshit.. I think she likes girls to be honest.) Anyways.. Im in good position.. but I need to close this girl down soon.

Ok.. next up is I got this milf that is hot as fuck, lives in my town... and I been fucking the shit out of here for a few weeks now... well..since Thanksgiving. I am going to have to leave out alot of details since she is married. But... 5'5, 115 pounds, blonde, blue eyes, german decent... and an appetite for sex. Highlights include: facials, cumming on her ass and telling her to wipe it in and then go home with it still on her ass, two role playing encouters... including her comeing over here dressed like a schoolgirl... and I fucking destroyed her that time. She is a squirter and I am taking total advantage of that.

I opened this girl at the honda dealership tooo.. but I fucked up and havent been by there in awhile.. but I plan on swinging by tomorrow... its all about a 50cent drink... Ill explain at another time.
I also got a blowjob from this girl Amanda, that I closed the same night. But she has a kid, etc... and I dont want all that drama. Its great feeling, to be able to deny a girl ... knowing full well that there is a fucking sea of fish out there for the taking.

Thats all I can remember right now...

I havent been in this mofo for a long time... so major big post...

2009-01-03T00:30:00.001-08:00

ok.. I dont even know where to begin.. but as of when ever I last posted.. shits been crazy.
so let me login and look at my last post and figure out how and when to update this for myself.
peace.

milf, pwnage.

2008-12-26T13:08:00.000-08:00

Hi po.com, merry xxxmas.

[URL=http://www.filehurricane.com/media/3719][IMG]http://www.filehurricane.com/photos/1226200835710PM_vlcsnap-85805.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[URL=http://www.filehurricane.com/media/3720][IMG]http://www.filehurricane.com/photos/1226200840459PM_vlcsnap-86300.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Job interview... sexual harrassment is fun!

2008-10-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

Dawn... I got this girl coming over to role play a job interview that turns sexual.
Should be alot of fun. We spoke on the phone for hours feeling each other out.. I dont think she is going to flake. 5'8 36D', former dancer instructor, practicing nurse. smoking body. My phone game has always been tight.. I think I got her to actually play with herself while we chatted.
laugh. updates coming soon!

pornstar potential.

2008-10-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

meeting up with a pornstar to go to the movies with. We clicked on a whole bunch of different things, shes pretty cool. Not sure where this is going.. but I am enjoying the ride. Fucking her is the last thing on my mind... shes just a real cool person to talk to.

the maid is impossible.

2008-10-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

Wow, talk about being wound way too tight. This girl is very attractive.. but I cant break through ice. I did a hand escalation as a test of trust. Its when you take a girls hands (both) place them on yours.. and you move them up, down, all the way up.. you spread your fingers, etc.. all the while you make stupid sounds like ...hmmm, ohhh, wow, neat. She bites.. you always say something positive. Even when this was being done.. she was starting to freak out. The worst part was the spreading of the fingers... usually when a girl is attracted.. instead of spreading her fingers to she clapse them to your hand.. like hand-in-hand. This girl didnt at all... bad sign.
So I said some positive shit.. etc. She looks me dead in the eye and is like "dont you ever touch my hands again." in a very firm low voice... like i mean business. Right then.. I should have done the pull in.. and go for the kiss. But I blinked.. was in shock what she said.. dropped away.. and said "wow, well ok." walked away.
Later we talked some more..that went no where. Seriously.. the risk reward factor is turning lame on this one. If it happens.. I think she will either be too freaked out.. or extremely clingy.
so its back to being cordial... she escalates it. ever... its all on her.

slow simmering seduction

2008-10-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

I dunno... I seriously dont know. I have a pretty plutonic friendship with my parents maid. Shes a few years younger then me... problem is this: besides her being my parents maid and a really good one at that, she is a white Jehovah witness, and has a kid.

We talked about a bunch of stuff... and I got this vibe of her being once the wild woman... and then a kid happened... bf dumped her... so she turned to religion... and now she is stuck in this routine. Kinda lonely.

She has skills in flirting... and its not pure erotic... its just fun. Then again, I been totally know to misread a flirt with just being nice. Which there lies the rub. Do I escalate it or not?

Dont want her to go nanners and quite because of me. Time has flown since shes been here... when I am dating... I barely gave her any of my time. Now... basically after oneitis... etc. The flirting is starting to feel comfortable. So I am like in the friends zone, and Im not in the friends zone... its basically a wierd place. Not sure how to play this.... or if I even want to with... knowing the risks.
We are alone together a few times in this huge house... and sometimes... I can feel this tension. Or is it all in my head? two weeks ago I caught her staring at me. Part of me is like... woohoo... the other half is like..dude I told you lost too much weight this week. Why cant it just be like in the pornos... she gets bored... comes into the office and gives me a nice blowjob. Or like I get to rail her on the kitchen marble top food prep area... or up in one of the guest rooms.

I had these maids up in NJ... and that was pure porno stylee. My parents ended up firing them ( two slutty sisters.) .. not sure why, but I have a good idea why.. because they (sisters)... started to wear cut-off shirts and spandex to the house to clean. This was after they invited me and my best friend up to thier parents house in PA,...we spent the whole time in the house... fooling around and drinking... it was crazy fun.

All the while.. one of them is up in my room "helping me with my homework"...by letting me play with their tits or finger their pussy... this was around 8th grade.
So yea.. alot of issues Im dealing with... hahaha!

Cousin's wedding.

2008-09-24T07:33:00.001-07:00

My cousin's wedding was this past weekend. I really didnt want to go, but part of me I guess decided that we all been far apart for far too long. My plan was to not really say much... and see if this side of the family hits me with the same retarded questions of "what do you do?" etc. etc. you know... kinda like a contest to see who is doing better or keeping up or falling behind.
So I prepared a bit, but dumping a bunch of pictures from my travels, ex girlfriends, business stuff... so that we could have some topics to talk about.
They all got bigger... taller... alot more stronger... it was great seeing them all. I over heard one saying how I havent changed at all... but that kinda hurt in one way... but in another I dunno maybe thats good. They havent seen me in over 10 years easily.

Only thing I hated was that for some of them.. all I talked about was work related crap.
Jason's wife has a heart of gold I can tell and will be good to and for him. Me and Jason talked probably the longest we ever did. I am only a few months older then him. So watching him up there nervous as hell I felt pretty happy for him. Some funny incidents occurred during the ring exchange that will be talked about for years to come. I asked him how did it feel to be married. He said that it felt sureal. They dated for 5 years, he felt that they might as well make it official.

If anything, if this was a race it would be between me and my cousin Susan to get married next.
Im not ready to race anyone... Im not rushing into anything... to please other people... to make babies so that I have something to talk about more with my parents.

Call me crazy but I'd rather be completely financially secure and THEN have children. I could not stomach not being able to provide for my future child everything he/she could ever want or need....not to mention a well rounded life of travel, higher education, and everything in between and especially preparing for the worst case scenerioes: sickness. I refuse to have a child and not really consider the dramatic changes it would make in my life. Its not like raising a pet dog.

Oneitis is back in town.

2008-09-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

Probably the hidden reason I had such a shitty night tonight.

Went out way early tonight because it was a local major football game.. and if USC was to win.... this town explodes into party mode... so I got a great parking spot early. USC ends up losing.

I get into some ridiculous conversation about marriage with my friend Joe... who is divorced... He knows about my ex-girlfriend... and I dunno... just the mere fact that we were talking about it... and the fact that she is now back in town. My brain, just kinda went into scatterbrain mode.. as to wtf I should do.. if anything about my oneitis.

It Sucks...yea I still got feelings for her... or just want things to be some how better then how shitty it broke apart.

Next thing I know a 2 set walks in... and I am just drained... I couldnt make a approach... watched them for far too fucking long... and got caught starring...AFC shit... all kinds of stupid AFC shit was going on in my head "whats going to be my opener." man I dont think about that shit... and now I am... wtf.

then their choad friends come in... and omfg... please dont tell me she sleeps with this fagboy.
I kinda just daze out... I think I drank too much... and just wasnt feelin it.
This guy Paul was there with this girl... I said hello to both... introduced myself to the girl... and it wasnt exactly pleasant or just something was off about the way she told me her name. Intuition, told me... dont talk to this bitch. I played my cards correctly...shes an attention whore... she tries opening me a few times... body language and shit... I am not going to be your dancing monkey while your boyfriend plays pool with us. I know, maybe I should have been nicer...and just start talking... but no... I just clammed up. I think this contributed to my off-game tonight. I was way too much in my own head thinking about oneitis and other random stuff.

My energy was sapping by the second... Then I get a call from Lenley saying she wants to introduce me to some indian girl... I start thinking about this crazy bitch I fucked on occassion... next thing I know.. I am in my car driving around the vista for a spot.... TO NO FUCKING LUCK.. seriously..parking sucks around there. Fuck it.. called Lenley back... I cant make it... parking sucks. She is disappointed... whatever... dont really care. Ended up driving home.

My inner game... was so fucking fragile today.. I dont get it. Just because of one stupid conversation about future shit based on someone elses opinion. Fuck this... Im going out tomorrow... all day for day game at a fleamarket..ha, should be interesting. ... then bar... then whatever.

5 points sluts.

2008-09-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

Lawrence and I head down to 5 points, he gets this super drunk girl all over him... and she was a total DLV... too drunk, and probably oozing STD's.... smartly he denied her. The girl was like basically begging for penis. Any penis I think. lawrence leaves, so does the girl..but not with him.
I am at a table with this girl I was earlier introduced to.

I start asking the girl next to me all kinds of rude questions since she shit tested me with some sexual talk earlier. Any girl that comes out and says something like.."oh your cousin doesnt have to leave, I can fuck more then one guy at a time." or something like that.. to shock me. It backfires on the girl.. I am not shocked... I start pushing her buttons right back

If a girl is going to start raising up the stakes on sex banter with me... she is playing with a loaded gun...as I will double the sex banter and get her to spill her guts on her every sexual experience, etc, etc. Sure enough.. we are talking about all kinds of sex talk. She has a very attractive face, great eye contact. She starts playing footsy with me underneath the table... looking around and saying crap like "I have a boyfriend."

Then enters the choad.

The choad was this super drunk asshole that came to our table..she knew him... and he starts talking about drugs and other DLV shit. Then he just finally shuts up...but he is not leaving.. he is just staring into space or looking at us. So i go back to escalating the chat we just had.

The Choad, mumbles something like I shouldnt talk to her like that. She puts him in his place... pwned. Then the choad tries to hit on her... and its funny... I could have totally amogged him even more.. but listen to him...say what he said. Clearly, this girl or any girl wouldnt listen to this weak game.
Long story short... everything worked out. Im too tired to type.

3 days later... she decides to come out to my place...after some playful phone chat. So its on again,
sure enough... after a few hours relaxing, watching a movie... she is giving me one of the most nastiest blowjobs ever... hardcore gagging, it was literally like Gag Factor #25 or whatever.
It was quite messy. ha!

a few updates... Day Game at Latin Festival.

2008-09-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

Meet up with some friends at the latin festival.

Got social proofed by a bunch of latin girls I know... who are actually family... we got a crazy family tree: peurto rico, japanese. All eyes on me a few times I can feel it... and sure enough an HB7 tall black girl is checking me out then looking away...then again. like four times atleast. But I was stuck in a conversation, couldnt make the approach.

I see that she is the third wheel for her fat friend who is with this rico swavue dude.. who is possibly in the community... other then a few facts: wearing an sleaveless argile sweater in 95 degree weather... do the words peacock come to mind.

I'll get to the second observation about him in a minute. So again she looks this way... I step up to the plate. I excused myself from my friends.. and made the approach... unfortunately.. she happens to turn her back slightly towards me... and there was no room to approach from the front... so yea this is going to startle her... and sure enough.. her eyes bugged out for a second or 4.

I didnt do a time restraint, I didnt do an opinion opener... I just ran with " It sucks being the third wheel right?" I said it fairly loud....she spins around... laughs..."yea, kinda but shes my friend".

Told her about my family... so I entered the time restraint now. Pulled some info from her... good eye contact. DHVed with pics from my camera... to fully explain a little more what I do...
gave her a brash statement of "I am the most interesting person you will meet in the next 45 days." Her eyes lite up... kino... IOI.

Someone bumps me and I spill beer on my cellphone....show is over on that.

I intro myself to the other two. Guy doesnt really care but wasnt a dick either.... at that moment the fat one girlcodes to my target... and I call them out on it.... and the dude... whips his head back towards me...as i do the mystery best friends test... he starts smiling and laughing a little bit... so I changed it on the fly from shampoo.. to favorite color..pretended that I knew it before they even answered.

Then I thought..wait..that makes no damn sense.... and it blew me out kinda.

They wanted to go use the restroom... I was hopeing the fatty would go by herself...but refused to. I suggested the cleaner hotel instead of the porta potties..but suit yourself.

she asked about my website again... and we split ways. went back to my cousins... and they all gave me high-fives...and this milf with a baby was checking me out.... the whole night...but I didnt approach. Me and Lawrence... head down to 5 points...

My fly gold chain.

2008-08-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

LOL! holy fuck I havent worn a gold chain is so damn long. I busted out my Skier Charm that hangs low on my neck. Its not ghetto or anything.. its this really detailed skier with ski poles and a skis... really detailed face and body. I purchased it up in Alaska for $200, its fairly heavy its probably worth alot more now in scrap.
Anywayz, I wore it out today.. I was going to wear it with this ski shirt... from Park City, Utah that says Endless Winter on the back.. a take on the Endless Summer -surfer motif.. but instead a skier. I walk out my house.. and wtf?! theres these nasty stains all over it. brown rust... I didnt see it in the morning... dammit. So I had to change my shirt to a generic North Face shirt.

Go out to wallmart... and my gosh... if you want sluts to look your way... milfs to look... especially black girls... white boy wear a gold chain... I was getting looks galoure. This was pretty cool. Though I got to admit this isnt me.. I am not gangsta.. and the chain doesnt scream out gangsta.. it basically screams out...Wtf? is a white boy wearing a gold chain for? as its fairly subble... and not thick and all that.

Good shit... I'll do it again for peacocking. laugh!

Unexpected visitor update.

2008-08-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

Ok.. its mostly phone text messages now. blah... she is still playing her cards as "selective". Whatever.. her stories were alot of DLV's... but lessons learned and she is on the straight and narrow.

I am a bit far away from her... that might be swimming around in her head. But then again, she says its a good thing that Im not downtown. I cant guess on this.. so I am just going to think she has too much going on at work.. which she did tell me that. So I will be patient, and not pursuit this ambitiously.

I would like to audition to be her f-buddy. But I don't see this happening, she has alot of work stuff going on.. and again... the unexpected visit.. kinda sucked. But.. I didnt jump into her frame and start calling her everyday.. etc. I let it simmer down alot. She opened me back up... so potential friends zone here. Which is fine. She is a genuine person I would be happy to hang out with.

Waitress, 18. ... work in progress. update.. not a day2.

2008-08-31T19:31:00.001-07:00

Give her a call, when I wake up... she is on her way back to work. Panter on phone was very short.. she was driving with someone.. ok whatever. So no phone play was going to happen. She tells me to come by.. shes working till 8pm. After doing a bunch of errands..etc... I roll in there at 6:30... her body language was nervous... then came the smile.

All I really wanted was ice tea since I ate a steak at a way better place about 2 hours earlier. Our conversation was interupted alot by her co-workers... which sucked. I relented and ordered some raisin bread. Spending $5.00 all said in done.. with tip. laugh.

A few times I chose not to interact. It was all going... so-so to be honest.. I couldnt escalate... couldnt build comfort... the work dynamic was messing all this up.

We did have one or three decent long conversations to chip away at some ice. She asked me my age kinda scared like... and didnt have a noticeable problem with it... but then goes on to tell me that she lived with two cops... or something to that effect. I dont care. I am friends with cops too.
I am staying in the friends zone with this one.. she might be full of shit about her age. I might have to test her a little bit.

But that gave me some insight as to what was on her mind... a shit test to see how I would react. I was no reactive... and asked her "my gosh you must get interoggated everytime you come home?" She went into story mode a bit.. which was cool. DLV'ed her ex boyfriend again, DLVed her own dad again. She got quiet though too.. maybe analizing this a bit more. I smiled a bit too much which sucked. But it goes hand and hand with building comfort... she teased me with goofy faces... I called her out on that.. and she said she always does that. Her eyes are amazing... I only seen this style a few times. I got to ask her background a bit.

I dont know... I never escalated anything.. it was just simple conversation... comfort stuff. A wierd neighboor of mine came in... and I warned her about him... he gives her $10 tips everytime! She smiled at me with this information. AH!!! thanks for that, 411... and that is so choady.

I tipped as such: normal the very first time... higher yesterday... and today... I gave her the proper amount. So I am not going down like that chump. I waited until she was free again.. to say good bye... and all she said was "ok bye!" with big eyes. I dunno... I think it was just proper... maybe essentric... but whatever.. I need to show a difference from these other people. I go to my car.. and I back up.. and I see it... she is watching me drive away! I think it was a positive sign still.

Tomorrow is labor day.. and she is in the parade.. I hope to get some pics. I also hope to close.. since she is in walking distance to my house. That would be fantastic. But.. she is 18 and I am going to be dealing with a ton of other 18 year old boys/girls.. and all that drama shit. I hope I can extract without too much effort. I got rings routine, comfort hand test routine, and Im going to research day game some more tonight. House, is being cleaned up amazingly tonight. So I am not going out. Well, maybe... I feel an urge for a milf tonight. See how fast I can get this place ready.
The unexpected visitor girl is playing phone tag with me now... wait fuck it.. new post for that.

Lesbians... gotta love 'em.

2008-08-30T23:57:00.000-07:00

Lacie and Linsey... 24/25 years old I think... its a guess. Lacie... was wearing a bathing suit underneath her gamecocks tshirt... had a totally awesome personality...we clicked like that! She understood my flirting shit... it was all going well. Then her bitch steps into the mess.... she tries AMOGing me... and I dont fall for her shit. Literally at one point I thought I was going to get into a fight with her... next thing I know she is rubbing her ass on my cock. O.K?
Lacie is now pissed off... over this. They both get into a tiff over this shit... and something else thats been bothering them both beneath the surface. Lacie grabs her cellphone and starts dialing up someone... while yelling at Linsey. *grab your popcorn* they get into another shoving match... then all of a sudden.. things just calm down. I say " oh I get it now....you two are all about the make up sex?right?" They both look at me. I say "oh come on... I know your lesbians, its cool with me...can I watch?" They both dig me... but for whatever reason... my wingman starts to wigg out... yet again... another fucking disappointment for a wingman. All he had to do was stick around... and shut the fuck up... and we were in. Instead... Lacies brother shows up... I guess thats who she called. My wing tells me.. to watch out...that guys super gay. Sure enough my gaydar goes off! Great, so not only is the sister lesbian, hes gay.. and this Linsay chick is like pissed off at the entire world.

Whatever, it got so complicated... and not able to extract or go with the flow... I ended up bouncing out too... back to the bar...as they walked out the rear exit.
Im going to fuck these lesbians... I just dont know when?

Later... Im up at the bar chilling... listening to this AFC talk a whole shit load of DLV to this HB7,
she looks at me.. I catch her eye... and I stare back into her eyes. Then I strongly look away... it was like hypnotic... all of a sudden... she became incredibly dulled by what AFC had to say...and the black dude next to me... was just failing..and lost. I just wanted to chill to the music and drink at this moment. My wing who fucked up earlier.. comes back " Its set, come meet this girl I already introduced you kinda to her." Wow... I got an AFC introducing me to some random girl... wtf.. beats listening to this bullshit from the AFC failing next to me. I get up... walk around the bar... and go into state instantly.... big smile.. running a bullshit mistaken idenity routine on her.. she falls for it... DHV some neg a bit... she girl codes her friend.. and says "playyyyyaaaaa" I eased off... I just got called a player. WTF!?! Im not a player... I was going to bust into this whole Im a pua artist... and I started too... I start mentioning how Im out here to meet people.. not just stick my cock into any warm hole... or something like that...that shaked her pretty bad.
Conversation starts to die a bit... I look around the room.. and guess who is now checking me out... you guessed it... the girl earlier that was 3 seats away from me thinking shes miss hotshit.. who couldnt handle strong eye contact. Ha! Interesting, I knew she would look this way.

I guess I drank to much and didnt give a fuck. She tells me she is engaged.. or was... or I dunno... some shit.. all I know is... she wants to marry some dude...and she wont live with him before they get married. WTF? My head was starting to hurt... her face wasnt all that.. and her voice was starting to irritate the crap out of me. So I drop around behind her.. to the side.. and ask for my check... and bounce out. I said goodbye, cordially as always.. but blah... shes retarded.
Went home via backroads.. to avoid all this DUI crackdown shit going on.
( btw, this post is meant for Friday Night.)

# closed a waitress...woohoo! Shes hot!

2008-08-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

This girl waitered on me about a month ago up at waffle house. She was so different then your typical wafflehouse waitress - she was a total charmer, consistantly comeing back to check on me with a smile, it was such a pleasureable experience...but I didnt really pursuit her.

Fast forward to today:, she is my waitress again... at first I didnt recognize her she dyed her hair a lighter shade... but her super friendly personality came out and I had to say something, so I commented on her awesome performance as a waitress, she tells me "I just treat people the way I would want to be treated." woohoo!A girl with smarts, and the conversation just flowed like water.

I told a funny story about me being a waiter, I sucked at being one. Always gets laughs, DHV with - own my house. She started to eye dart a little... maybe nervous.

fixing her hair... body language was positive... I even got her to come around and sit at my table... and she sat in such a relaxed pose. All good shit!

She has a brain, serious smarts -graduating early by doing some kind of massive essay or something that the superintendent of schools allows or something like that.. I kinda drifted off looking at her total HB8 looks, beautiful eyes... and dreaming about plugging every orfice of her body.

Her eyes are like big egyptian oval saucers is the only way I can describe them - hypnotizingly pretty, tall - 6', a ballroom dancer, the list goes on and on. I get the details I need: living situation - on her own with a friend, no boyfriend, no drugs - she offered this info, but drinks, ok so she is not a goody-goody.

Tells me a story about a friend getting so drunk he peed in the cat box when he sleepwalked out of the basement!I tipped her slightly more... the service was fantastic as always even during our conversation.

This is epic, I #-closed a girl that I totally want. I got half a hardon just thinking about what the hell just happened... Woohoo!

I will never buy HIS&HER Pleasure Condoms by Lifestyle again.

2008-08-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

OMFG! What is this worthless shit. Talk about uncomfortable! I am not going to risk buying another box... maybe these were a defect but... I open up one to check them out... *wink* and they are like.. loosely wrapped up into the package...wtf... the outside feels loose and streachy... wtf... I put it on... and I am kinda wide... I think this motherfucker wanted to cut off all circulation to my cock.... I streach it out more... expecting to get the wrinkles out of this loosely wrapped condom.. I should take pics of one.. so you can see what I mean. I roll it down.. its like no other condom I ever had... the sides are full of airpockets... and wrinkles... I think its defective... the extra tip on the end... omfg.. I wish I read the box better... this sucks.. who the fuck would want a reserve tip on thier condom... its just another uncomfortable thing for the girl... I do not feel at all safe with this condom... a condom should not be wrickly for pleasure on the side... picture your cock wrapped in loose saran wrap... ugggg...fuck this... and this tight circulation is killing me. I ripped it off... and tossed it. NEVER AGAIN, horrible product.

Durex is King. Intense Sensations, Ultimate Feeling, the list goes on... no problems there.. except for the tightness on the condom... I am pretty wide. I might try magnums... but that sounds just too egotistical. I love my penis though... I am 100% clean. Till I get something steady going again.. Condoms.

95% cured... sore throat.

2008-08-29T20:09:00.001-07:00

Going into work late, meds for my throat, coughing up nice chunks of phlem... oh am I ready to party! I cant take this shit... work..then home and rot. Pimped out my playboy room some more tonight, fixed a boomy bass in my home theatre system. It sucks still I really need to upgrade all this equipment. My room is a wreck... from being couped up in my house with zero energy. Watched a whole bunch of RSD dvds, listened to Oliver about day game I cant fuckin wait to try out tomorrow at USC. I need to buy more stupid shit for the loft to keep anyone who ventures up there engaged... without getting wigged out by the playboy motif that ooozes this is the room to fuck in. Laugh. I worked for playboy for 4 years, so all this stuff is blankets, pillows, linen sets, key chains, photos, all kinds of stuff... Im going to pick up more from the adicct at my parents house. Ummm... I might venture out tonight for some short gaming... I need a shower, and a serious trimming of my hair I still put off for I think 2 months. The unexpected visitor chick I think blew me off... not sure... she does have her own life... told her I was sick... who knows if she believes me. But its the truth.. I guess bad timing. Pretty girl.... I'll know by Sunday where I stand... left her a very upbeat message... fucked up and said my name.. which is a pua no-no... caller ID... duh. message was a bit too long.. but whatever. Cleaning up the room and going out.
Still dont hit the local bar.. I need to do this.. but skills are not there yet. I dont feel ready for being the big fish on this little pond here. Let work pick up, and some other DHV stuff.. and I will be in there pwning it.

Rambling.. yes... this was a total brain drop... waiting for my laundry for my clean bed.

Sore throat killing my game.

2008-08-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

Its getting worse.. I need meds. I been itching to make some new field reports.. but now my head hurts, and my sore throat is turning into a real beast. So I am stuck at home, doing stupid myspace plays... and I dont have the patience for any of that. meh.
hopefully this will heal soon.

Day Game Brief

2008-08-24T23:39:00.000-07:00

today was a bit odd...
At waffle house I get IOI's from two black girls sitting up at the single seats. That was cool, but I didnt push it. Then I get opened at the Sports Goods shop by this cute girl that works there...but couldnt escalate the interaction. I dunno... maybe I wont get a haircut. Oh and the cashier at best buy was cute too... and flirted a bit. I wasnt wearing anything peacockish... a black Expressions T-shirt, my jeans from portugal that do kick ass.. and black leather shoes.
I dunno. Felt pretty good... but later on... when I though I would go do the bar scene... my stomach gets all messed up on me ... too much vitamin-c and my throat hurts too.
diarrea.... night killed. I myspace gamed... but blah... I totally hate that shit.

rambling thought.. but yea.

unexpected visitor

2008-08-24T23:13:00.000-07:00

This weekend... an unexpected event unfolded on Saturday.

I thought she was going to give me atleast another day to relax and clean up this place before coming over here. But no, I get the call that she is 10 miles away from my house and closing in fast!
I have zero toilet paper, no groceries, and plenty of laundry to do/pick up/clean up! So I run around my house like a headless chicken cleaning up everything. I got no time to do anything super with my clothes or hair,etc. So this is going to be serious test of seeing the real me.
Fuck it, shes at the door shortly.

5'7, thin, Blonde, hazel eyes, jeans, blue top, slight makeup, a great ass... so she did do some prep work...while me.. I am wearing an electric chicken green t-shirt, jeans and atleast my favorite shoes.

Im in an elevated state of mind.. and its killing my game.. Im like hyper from cleaning up and feel so exposed for some stupid reason. Finally after awhile I calm down and build up our rapport.

We talk forever about some really personal stuff that she has experienced... Im not going to mention them here.. but she didnt have to tell me all of it. Alot of it was pretty fucked up to be honest. But she is in a better place now.

So I guess a connection was made.. and me being the thoughtful sap...and felt this need to touch her to tell her I feel kinda well sad for her... went in for the kiss... and I got sorta denied.

Which was fine... it actually helped me... I knew where I was in the relm of building comfort with her.. so I had a building block to work from... didnt bother me at all.

We chatted for a long time.. all over my house including my bedroom.

It was a good first meet... I think she did this unexpected visit to see what and who I really am.... which is smart. I dont have much to hide.

We did a mini-date to the grocery store... I think she liked being apart of that... but then I realized all my cooking gear was being washed so i couldnt cook the steaks we purchased! whatever. I didnt really have any plan for a date.. wasnt sure what she was up to.
It was just so damn random of her to drop by like this.

I did get a text message from her in return to my "you hijacked my brain" comfort building line.. I plan to build on that tomorrow.

For Sunday... I am feeling like shit.. my throat is killing me so I guess its a good thing we didnt kiss. I totally didnt call her today... I dont know why... just didnt feel like I should after the previous unexpected visit. Going to try and get something going for Tuesday I think. She doesnt drink or do drugs which is great, but she smokes cigarettes and I hate that crap. She also sometimes talks ghetto...but shes 27. Not sure how this will play out.. as when she was leaving... we kinda split ways on the porch... its a short walk to her car around the house.. and I am not sure if I did the wrong thing... not walking her toward the car.

As earlier in our trip to grocery store... I opened her car door on leaving for it.. and returning.. and she opened my car door from the inside...which to me is a great sign of a good person.
Will just have to see.

NYC Sarge... Day 3.. part 2 of 2... long night.

2008-08-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

alright.. so I kinda laugh off the bullshit I just went through with the aussies and bringing them to the other bar. So I head back to the milf bar where "C", "Mr.H" and "SK7" are back at.
I walk in.. and there is "C" walking around alone.. I was thinking.. fuck.. the other guys are not gelling with him.. his clothes fucked him over and he doesnt get it. So I asked "why are you alone?" "getting a drink.. ok dad?" haa! "C" is a pisser.. see the other fellas... give them the 411 on what happened.. and a bit of play by play. the girl renee came back in... but whatever.. she is a total flake. NEXT!

"SK7" tells us that two girls are coming down or somethin like that.. I dunno... we exit the bar parlore... and there they are. I love latina girls they are always very warm or warm up very quickly if you are just simple sweet to them. The intros were warm... but when they saw "C" and his choad clothes.. value was going downward. You cant wear a tshirt to these clubs... Everyone wanted to go to this upper deck club... but we couldnt obviously. Went to some other place... on the way.. I chatted up the two girls.

There was no cockblocking or anything... I didnt feel any pressures to stop. Nor was I really hitting on them.. I was just chatting... and must have went well.. since I cant remember shit from it. We find a place that let some choad with a grey tshirt in.. so yea Chris got in. Thank fucking God... because... he was last in line to go in.
packed house.

The conversation with the girls went well, they were both HB6, HB7, so for anonymity HBV, and HBK, again I had to check with "SK7" because I sure as hell do not want to piss off anyone by sarging one of thier girls or anything like that. I am not a cockblocker... nor am I going to steal someone's girl...especially a friends girl. Thats not me... I want to see my friends succeed.
These were two new friends, and I really didnt want to fuck shit up.

So I am confused as "SK7" says the girls have boyfriends that he is friends with... ok... so I am going to keep it casual and friendly.

That didnt last long... I got one girl telling me.. a different story...and asking me if I was single. Ok I know she is young and a bit AFC herself... because thats like basically asking me "do you want some pussy, I like you."
maybe not that extreme.. but i am a guy after all.

So lets go with "I like you."

Out of respect.. since I didnt get any slut hoe vibe from these girls.

the night was still young... I had a huge mindfield to navigate anyway.

I got random unknown choads trying to hit up on these girls... which was funny as hell... seeing them..standing around watching us have fun. more like staring like stalkers...laugh. AFC's.

I felt like our group was the attraction that night. They wanted to be US. Fuck you choads.

This is our party! is what I wanted to scream out... my alcohol started creeping into me... and i started doing some kino escalation on both ladies. danger zone... I wasnt sure if i should really proceed.

I held back... I was thinking about doing '5 minute girlfriend' on HBV, to really test how well it would work in NYC. But decided not to... she was having fun again dancing.
So nothing escalated to higher then a kiss on the cheek by both girls.... and I dont remember why or how I got to that level... but I remember it was something really funny said or done.

leaving the club... I nearly forgot about "C"... he was so quiet. Mr.H was with another girl... so I left him alone... let him do his thing. Didnt pay much attention to him and her.. I had my own shit going on..

"C" decided to leave alone to go home... saying he was tired.. no problem... whispering to me to "fuck one of them." laugh.

I didnt have any chance to ask "SK7" for final confirmation if I had the green light to start some escalation with either girl.

When we got to the car... I knew no escalation would happen... as the girls didnt seperate when we got to the car..
If it was my wingman's car down south... I would have ran ahead and grabbed the back seat.. "to clean up the backseat" so that obviously my wing is driving...and let the girls figure out where to sit...

in this situation.... that didnt happen... the girls went into the back seat. Game over... practically.
I still kept my happy friendly frame. HBV asked me "how many girlfriends have you had?"
omfg... yet another..."do you want some pussy?" uhhhg... I ignored the question.
I refuse to answer that question anyway.
We ate food at a outside vendor...which was very close to my hotel... chilled.. and talked about a bunch of stuff.. and me and "SK7" had to adlib on some topics.... which was funny as hell.

Got a ride home... woke up late for work.

cool night, could have been epic. But, still a great night in NYC.

NYC Sarge... Day 3.. part 1 of 2... long night.

2008-08-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

worked all day in the city, met up with "C" for dinner downtown.. he wasnt dressed to well for a night of high class clubs. Its not his style.. he is bars, and laid back. Still one of my best friends..so whatever.

going to keep this nights Field Report brief, well not too brief. long night.:

Met up with my AFC friend "C", I specifically told him that we are going to meet up with some people and go to the meat packing district for those clubs.. he shows up wearing a Black Oneil Tshirt. So he isnt getting into any place.. the rest in the group were a little disappointed by this dynamic.. but we got into what my friend "SK7" said was a milf bar.

I been explaining to SK7 and C my theorys on pua, and my outlook on this subject...but I also practice what I preach... soon as I got into the place..

I got approached by a girl sitting at her table with another boy&girl. Well..damn that was quick for a 3 second rule of one eye glance.

She rubbed and tugged on my shirt to get my attention.. I'm 6 tall looking down at their table... HB7,HB8 and a hairy guy.

Cant believe I am going to use this line again "hands off! Its $5.00 a touch."
she laughing:"I like you!". wait.. her accent is aussie. Cool.

I hated the fact there was no chair at this table, so my social proof to the rest of the room...seemed needy...was getting weak... so I squated down.. asked how they know each other... my fucking legs are killing me from working all day... but I had to press on.
all brothers and sisters... sweet!

AFC "C" came by the table.. He doesnt know about timing on this.. or codeing the entry... so once again my value is going down... I had to quickly intro "C".. but here its now... two guys hovering over her table. Not good. "C" conversation skill was almost non existant... I didnt hear him... the girl closest to him was talking to me.. he had no access to the HB9 on the other side of the table.. and the dude was there at the table. He was fucked.. he did the right thing and bounced out.
Some good did come out of it.. "C" bought me a drink and brought it to me... DHV? I think so, very minor but it still counts.. plus social proof... but I dunno... he was not dressed congruent to me. If it was "SK7"... I think we could have locked in. He would have gotten the HB9 I strongly believe...

( but this is all after the fact...I was living in the moment.. I cant say hey girls hold on.. let me introduce you to someone else... no chance. I had to run with what was presented.)

So I stop sarging the girl "renee" omfg.. I got half a hardon when she told me her name...but anyways yea I chat up and win over the dude, he was quiet but cool... eye coded his sister.. I guess I recieved APPROVAL...

because then the HB9... who I didnt really notice was an HB9 at first because I was focused on the girl that oppened me...

banter back and forth was good... cheerful... I escalated and did some pullback as well.. to calibrate....She knew I was game if she was game...

then LMR started to appear.. SHE got nervous... it was obvious..
she partially sang some song "I love american boys" never heard it before... and I fucked up and asked her about it... which drove the conversation to AFC... i fucked up... and literally asked if she ever "dated" an american... or somethin to that effect I implied. So I fucked up and fell into her frame... she was winning at this moment. I shifted gears as quickly as possible and jumped on a conversation about something else.

I controled it by offering to go to another club...

(where..the previous night... I opened the bouncer really cool with my kick ass tshirt as in day 2 FR)... soon as we came to that club.. I said "Hey Keith" "Hey Andrew... VIP right this way sir."

Omfg... can this be true....

here is where shit fucks up...because of this scared little rabbit of a girl... the HB9 is partial to me... the dude is basically quiet humbled.. like damn.. this guy isnt full of shit.... what does the girl who opened me do?

She sees two other aussie guys on the street... hugs them.. and says hey come on with us.

They look like dirt.. to be honest. I tell them you all go on in... Im going to get the rest of my friends.. back at the other bar.

The bouncer looks over at me... and I say..."Kieth... I appreciate the offer for VIP... but I jut got played by that little blonde over there... so fuck them dont let them up in VIP. Im getting my other friends to come up here."

He checks them out.. says "ok got it."

I only known this bouncer 48 hours.. literally 1 hour of that 48 hours.. never been in the VIP myself..and I am telling him to not let them up in there...LAUGH.

The dude, in the group is like "whats up?" not angry.. confused?

I say "whats up with your sis... sorry my man...tell your sis I dont reward bad behavior." and I walk away.

what was I suppose to do.. maybe I could have looked at it different... and went after the HB9.... but... I felt.. like.. I was getting used.. the ratio would have been 4 boys 2 girls... all Aussies.. and me the token american... with keys to the vip. I know aussies are great people... dont get me wrong... but that girl with her flaky bullshit.. sorry.. no.. Im out.

I dont have the amog skills to deal with a pack of aussies at this point.

Nor did I want to appear as needy.. hanging with them like a lost puppy.

went back to my friends.. ended up having a great night with two pretty latina girls from Peru and Cuba. Thats in Part2.

Met another cool cat via "SK7" named "mr. H". We all clicked really fucking well.

NYC Sarge... day 2.

2008-08-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Day 2, more of the same... people are paranoid.

A mixed 4 set was standing next and my totally AFC friend... boy/girl/boy/girl..and a few other people obviously who knew them.

I had my afc wing... who was not dressed in high standard.. he never does.. it sucks.. but anyway... the girls were listening into our conversation... mostly DHV's of travel, high quality life stuff.. girls bumps into me.. I do the "$5 a touch.." good response..

I try talking to the guy with her..and he didnt amog me.. but was like so freaked out that I was trying to talk to him. Maybe he is closet gay i dont know. conversation ended very quickly. Oh well..whatever.

I guess I need to wear shirts with alligators on them like I did in 3rd grade. (its not a premium brand you morons.. its all marketing.)

I must say.. nyc has changed in one respect.. not everyone wears black... but now the landscape looks like the land of Banana Republic. Which is fine.. but my gosh...can you say cookie cutter. So I guess i was a peacock?

The dude in the group I opened up to build social value.. is basically a pure AFC choad...zero skills with this HB7 asian girl.

so here I am... I want to open up that set...but I got my own AFC friend.. whispering into my ear..."asian chick is hot man... go violate her, etc. etc." I told him dont whisper to me... I know I know.. but he doesnt understand how totally shitty it is to whisper about someone..especially a girl.

I watch him being totally uncalibrated, the girl walks away..he follows her everywhere..doesnt talk. uhhg.The other males were Jocks.. and I dont want to really amog the guy for his girl.

The other girls is about to take a pic of her two friends.. I offer to take the pic for all 3.

She accepts.. she is pretty but has a long face... and jagged teeth... HB6... do able... from behind.. I ask how to work the camera... and then I say "This camera is like ancient". She gets so upset over this.. and says "nice shirt." neg. (holland shirt...windmills.)doesnt even phase me... we banter for a little bit.

but as soon as we disagreed on something.. she blew me out.

I think nyc goes on something like this... it could be the most minimal disagreement or social etiquette mistake that you make... the girl instantly gets the FREE PASS to act/say to you... not interested. Even though you know the girl cant possibly be that flaky.

later on we basically ignore this whole set.. as this beautiful blonde walks in.. HB8. Me and my wing think about gaming her... so we are kinda watching whats up with her indirectly...

then guess what...

the dude from earlier following the asian girl.. opens us up.. with some choad speak of "you got good eyes man shes hot."

I looked.. up at him.. taller then me.. Im 6'... and give him this.. who the fuck are you look on my face. How did that feel? He walked away. Choad.

that moment her posse of little 23 year old boys/girls came in... and they had a table reservation. so blah.. we walked out.

I wanted a massage down in china town.. but everything looked closed.. and I dont have any clue where to go for that. I dont need a happy ending.. I just want someone to rub my feet. I was tired from standing all day at work.

For tonight.. I found a really cool lounge.. I am going to try out.. like every single night..thats how cool the place looked. Day 3 starts up fairly soon.

FR: NYC sarge...multiple days.

2008-08-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

trying to callibrate myself to NYC is taking longer then expected.

I thought I could hook after some fairly light sexual neg that I threw out to a 2 set. But she was revolted and I couldnt recover..she also was the alpha of the group...but not my target. the other HB7 laughed.. but then staightened up when her gf looked at her scolding.. I had work cut out for me... all this is going on .. while my wing for the night... a tall handsome russian guy first time we ever hung out... cool normal guy... I had some incredibly bad wings... this was very positive... girls literally swivel their necks to look at this guy.

I was explaining to him my view of gaming girls. What I learned, what works what doesnt... and my own flavor.

Anyway he wasnt there.. nor are me and him calibrated as wings for each other.. but I dont care... it would have been fun to see how it could worked out. But I was flying solo.. on this sarge.

I came in to the set as a prick... to be honest.

I saw what I wanted.. and I didnt have time to wait for "there conversation" to end. fuck that.. I just got up and walked up to them.

My bullshit line was... "hey ladies, do you mind if I have a bit of conversation with you two... as I am sitting alone at this table by yours in this busy bar.. waiting for my friend who went to go check if his little sister was ok. a few minutes.. thats about... I just feel wierd sitting at a table alone." it opened...

notes:
The do you mind part sucks.. this I know.. it shows needyness... I got to elliminate that from my vocab. I want to.. would have been better.
dhved my friend .... and opened up a cat string for the set... they could have asked about the sister.. (didnt)... so I couldnt establish a hook to sit at their table....I decided to do.. best friends routine... but negged too hard....and I could have told them the drunk sister 1st date routine... blah blah....for when he came into the set. Hopeing he wouldnt say "what sister?"
that would have been interesting... haha.
end notes.

back to FR:
but the bitch shield... the alpha of the group..was pissed at my rudeness.... perfect... its what I wanted... She was the shield.. the target the blonde... was open to game. So I seperated roles instantly... woohoo... game on!

I was hoping my wing would come back quick.. but I dunno.. what was up. So I quickly kept the cocky funny style going... but negged way too strong. miscalibrated on that... and then I got blown out. Oh well... its was first set of the night. Didnt care.

I got 5 more days of sarging... my calibration on what I can get away with is coming up... so I figure by day 4-5 I should be fucking some girl up here in my hotel room, or party, or whatever.
Im tired from work.. which is effecting my quickness a bit... but I gotta press on.
This is a very target rich city.

7 days into the No Porn Challenge.

2008-08-08T09:16:00.001-07:00

I relapsed... watched a bunch of downloaded porns. Yea well I did remove a bunch of hollywood style porns too that I was sick of. laugh. Main reason for this relapse... this old girlfriend texted me saying that she has a surprise for me. This girl is crazy... like certified crazy... so expect a field report either this saturday night or sunday... if I survive. She handled what happened last time like a champ... though to me it seems like an ice age ago..since I have seen her. She layed low for quite a long time... I thought her sister killed her after the blue couch was ruined.
So knowing this... I postponed the no porn challenge.

I will start it up again, it was a very interesting experiment. Hopefully I can get through 30 days...technically I should have kept the challenge going, so tonight as punishment I will throw out more old pronage I dont need. My collection isnt really that big.

Computer use values have changed.

2008-08-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

My home computer has changed its role in my life for the better.
I use to purchase the fattest harddrives I could to stuff it full of movies,games, porn, and other entertainment stuff. Now I am in the process of deleting or throwing out this crap. especially after I lost 250 gigs during a thunderstorm that killed a HD.

I haven't sat down and played a video game in so long, and now with the 30 day no porn challenge in effect. I am focusing again on other pursuits.

I purchased two HDs, and reinstalled my OS. A fresh new install for a new lifestyle.

I am only installing applications for my web development, something that I have been slacking off on for so long. A few classic games that I am addicted to.

My other computer, I am excited because I was able to do everything myself from installing the motherboard, and configuring it completely. I had one sticking point with the power to the motherboard, but I accomplished it. It felt fantastic not having to make a call for advice. I did it myself, no one else helped. Feels great. People who constantly call others for help are weak.

I am converting this computer into a mp3 jukebox, and holder of my movie, tv show backups.
Hopefully it works out... a project to keep me occupied I guess.

I need to purchase a kick ass Soundcard for it. So I am really trying to make a change in my lifestyle. I dont want to sit at my computer desk and just veg out.

With the lack of entertainment value on it I think this will help. I am also starting up my eating habits and gym routine again.

So my computer is going to help in this regard: working out journal, this journal, business functions, and very few online games. Its for the best. I am killing off the old me.

Good bye my "friend" of 14+ years.

2008-08-02T14:01:00.000-07:00

No this is not negative, I am actually happy and content with the changes I made.

People before me on the journey have posted about losing friends due to their commitment of lifestyle change. I thought this could never happen to me, but it has... and I am thankful actually. I have grown so much so fast.

I never really took into account my own worth, in the face of my so called friends. After witnessing poor behaviour, pettyness, drama, all of which I no longer want to be associated with.

I quietly started to make stronger decisions of who should be a friend...and who should be dismissed.

I would be quiet, and beta around this one in particular friend of 14+ years. I accepted all of his faults, while I was belittled on mine. We were friends, theres always shit talking and joking around, right?

With the skills that I learned, and via other pua media, I learned to take alot more control of my destiny, and to offer value to people. I anticipated gaining respect from friends on the changes that I made. Instead they have felt threatened by them.

I am no longer beta, I speak and will hold on to my beliefs until proven wrong by facts. I will communicate with anyone I want to, I will do many great things. I will be the best human I can possibly be. Without betrayal, lies, drama, drugs, curse words, and just plain cut throat tactics that these "friends" use. I understand now, what I must do.

After last night, receiving over 15 drunken/drug enduced phone calls and text messages from a "friend" insisting that I call them back... and not asking "please" or anything... anything positive...instead it was end with "you piece of shit." This was the second time of this in 1 week.
The other 14 or so messages either escalated with more venom, or was said sheepishly about what I was missing out on: VIP with the Flobots. Which I couldnt give two flying fucks about.

I know how this person acts... I can see it now... his cellphone next to his head.. screaming into to the phone (my voicemail.. even after it ended on him.) belittling me, calling me a bitch, making up a story such as "better have my money." or whatever.

I have witnessed it before, its because he cannot handle social situations and hides.

A concert hall full of strangers...would be way too much for him to handle. The venom on the phone got worst. Am I suppose to forgive and forget? No. I refer to the old statement "a drunk mans words is a solber mans thoughts."

There is no forgiveness, I understand where I am in his world, beta. I will be the butt of his jokes, I will be picked on and made fun of when I am not there. Rumors abound I am sure. I am positive that the girls that were with them... either were embarrassed by his actions... or amused perhaps?
Interesting. Put yourself in my shoes. High school antics was a long time ago. I cant relate. sorry.
I wont stand for it anymore.

It touched a nerve, how venomous it was said.

I felt sick, I felt beta, I felt that if I made that call... I am that piece of shit looking for validation and friendship. Like a puppy getting spanked for peeing on the rug again coming back sheepishly toward his master for punishment.

I drew my line in the sand.

Enough of this, either respect me or get out of my life.

I texted him back the next day:
"Dont call me, you have no respect for a friend of 14+ years."

I recieved no appology. I received:
"me respect u. fuck u. you have no respect"

So it is done.
14 years... gone.
I am at peace.

I look forward to my next new friend to take his place, times 10. Quality people with goals, and positivity.
Thank you all.

How hard is this going to be? No Porn Challege.

2008-08-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

Today is August 1st. This is going to be a very difficult month for me in one major aspect: Porn.
I decided that for the next 30 days, that I am not going to watch any porn movies. Yea, I know, thats fucking crazy.

Its like litterally taking away a crackheads crackpipe and rock.

But it can't be as difficult as the 30-day no jerkoff challenge they have going on at stylelife. Fuck that... I gotta jerk off.. or I will get elephantitis to the nutz.

I will admit though... that when you dont jerkoff for like a good 2 weeks... omfg... its like a quart comes out in relief. I feel terribly sorry for the lady facing that ocean of spunk coming at them. Maybe that is the reason behind that 30day challenge.

My personal challenge isnt that hardcore... or is it? I wont know until I try. But I am just going to try and ween? Is ween a word? laugh... my way off of the pronage. There is some fairly safe rules to keep my sanity though:

I am not allowed to review the current porn I have for 30 days.
nudity on TV, or on a webpage is accepted because it is everywhere...but I can not as a result of seeing it, jerk off to it as a release. Nor can I seek it out... watch a nudity based TV show or movie or by typing in http://www.thehun.com/ or http://www.maxhardcore.com/ or http://www.pornotube.com/ etc. Accidental nudity on a webpage not exclusively dedicated to porn is acceptable.
I can not download any NEW clips, pics, bookmark a site, or increase my current porn collection in anyway.
I am allowed to jerkoff.... but my only visual assistance will be my own mind. No porn videos or pictures to assist.
My friends do like to go to strip clubs, I honestly dont like these places...but I will attend if asked... I can not suggest that we go.
Every night for 30 days a detailed blog entry must be completed mentioning this challenge.
First offense: Any failures to comply with the rules results in deletion of 10 porns.
Second offense: 20 videos are deleted, internet access is limited to business work only.
Third offense: 20 videos deleted, plus 5 archived dvds are destroyed, and the only internet access allowed is business related ONLY - email, website work, blog, for the rest of the challenge.
Maximum Penalty Enforcement: Complete loss of all archived porn material, Cd's, DVD's, complete folders, everything.
Challenge is over at any time a physical act happens with a woman that is atleast higher then "third base".

Complete Dedication to reality, not virtual reality.

2008-08-01T08:25:00.001-07:00

I decided last night to make this journey to pua a full time, all encompassing journey for myself.
I need to seriously make a lot of changes in my life. About 30 days ago I started up my online game again. I poached a bunch of "friends" that were on my friends webpage. It went from zero friends to roughly 30 fairly quickly. half were people that I truly know and want to keep in touch with... the other half... poached... and its so flaky. I hate this crap.

last night after reviewing my personal myspace page, a page designed to keep in touch with some girls that it was not getting the results that I wanted. I assumed it would be constant messages back and forth... nothing like earth shattering like "Come fuck me tonight." just random nonsense "work sucks, whats up with you." blah blah.

The constant logging in and logging out to see if any of these girls were online... was getting annoying.

The flaky conversations that flash upon my screen, the music and apps I installed to illustrate my own personality. This all has to stop. I am way more dynamic then a webpage. Its a waste of time. One one day alone I saw myself logging in atleast over 70 times! I dont even check my own email with that tanacity.

Maybe I wont delete it completely... maybe I will just lock it down hardcore, as I saw one girl do that I was interested in. You needed to know either her last name, or her email address to get in contact with her.

I know that nearly everyone has a myspace page... regardless of age. Its practically a catalog of the human experience.

I guess I my impatience of expecting friendly contacts back would have happened faster. But it didnt. One particular girl... either A. totally wigged out on me, when I made an AFC statement in a quick email saying "you make me smile." To me thats just something sweet to say.

To her, it must have been received as a "do you want some dick?" statement.

Within moments the same day... I was deleted as her friend. Wow, nice to meet you too.

Or... as I am aware that a friend got her password and is able to login as her... saw my email and decided to shut me down and out. Which is a slight higher possibility, as I dont see this girl as being that big of a flake.

After this... I seriously considered getting out of this online gaming world.

The only way you can really learn to interact with a person is direct and in person. This hiding behind fancy graphics, music, and witty statements... or bullshit quotes... is complete crap. This is the perfect world for the socially inept. I refuse to be that. I know that I have value to offer other people, if they will let me.

This is why I will become more dedicated to becoming a more productive human being in all aspects of my life.

I know this is rambling... it is my blog after all.

Half of the girls on my page... or not close friends.. they just happen to be girls that I met at hooters, and who happen to be "friends" listed on my friends webpage.

So maybe I did poach them... but when I sit at my friends table I am beta.... this is like "his world." These girls knew nothing about my travels, my past with Playboy, my cool nephew Grant, my parents house on the lake, etc.

I offered them a glimpse into my world.

Maybe I gained some respect, or maybe.. if my own paranoia serves me right... even more rebuttals from my closest friendemy. I am 98% sure he talks major shit behind my back.

I guess he won in way, he can have his little myspace world and live a fantasy world that all these girls are his.

That they sit in front of thier computers at all hours of the night, just waiting for him to send a pixelated kiss, or cute picture of puppies with the words "Hold me" in glittery text above it.

To me, its a bunch of rubbish for douchebags that have no motherfuckin game.

You will see me out in the bars, or out on the streets TALKING to ladies, not waiting to get them back to my myspace page to send this shit to them....FUCK THAT.

The Crazy Man and wife. - Bull in a china shop.

2008-07-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

Me and Neil roll into our favorite bar... to seriously just relax and shoot some pool. The previous night we met the darkside, we were still debating just what the hell happened that night.

So we are hanging out... when this pudgy/muscular guy steps up to my wing and says "Hey, man what drugs are you on?" Or somethin to that effect... but didnt even give him a chance to answer in any fashion. He instantly say "well I got scolaxsin... or something like that." later I find out its basically a muscle relaxer?

The guy loks like a cop for the most part... short croppy haircut, and he has those typical over beefcaked shoulders that looks like a bulletproof vest. Basically the guy was pretty jacked up.. yet shorter then me.

He tried to interact with me... but I just gave him the "I really dont give a fuck what you got to say to me vibe." The dude, had a a ton of energy... talking a 1000 miles per hour.... and then he introduces his wife to us... a little hippy chick.

I sorta relax a little bit. Build a little bit of rapport with the guy.... we start to shoot pool. The guy is just full of energy... its so hard to just chill out because thats all I needed or wanted to do.

The pool game ends... and instantly the guy is begging us to come over to his house... his wife will cook dinner. WTF? Neil.... loves to eat a free meal.... and the guy talked to him about smoking something. So off we go to his house.

The guy actually was pretty cool... but was totally like a Bull inside a China shop.... you had no clue when he would freak the fuck out.

He screamed at his wife a few time while she re-heated some porkchops and pasta for us. We shot pool at his house and just chilled.

Neil and the dude number exchanged... I didnt bother... I dont have the energy for this type of personality. But... seriously... I would much rather be on his good side... Im sure if her gets pissed... he goes crazy.

Which is good and bad. If I run into him again I will be cordial.

FR: I stopped myself from asking AFC questions. Woohoo!

2008-07-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

It was great.. I opened up this girl at a bar... it was going well... and then the lull came... and I almost got into my AFC mode and started to ask the boring questions.."where are you from... what do you do?" Just as I said it to her...

I held out my hand like a stop sign.. and said "Wait, no stop... I dont want to talk about that... thats boring as hell."

She cracked up with laughter, big smile.

This just only increased my understanding of how lame these questions are... she seemed very relieved not to answer them.

She did later.. at her own descretion...with a bigger cheeky smile later.

She was waiting for the bartender... and to get back to her crowd.

It was no closing... but it felt great to cut that thread ASAP and survive.

Since I looked like crap that night... no shave, since hell it worked for the russian girl the other night ago.. I lied and said I just flew back here from Seattle... and lucky for me... she is from Vancouver.

A good 5 minute conversation... I did get some more IOI's when I rolled out... saying nice to have met you.

I could have went back. But I chose not to. Which is very powerful as well..for me.

So I got Slapped inside a bar for the first time.

2008-07-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

Didnt post this FR, because it was NOT a sarge.

Me and my wing were shooting pool with this group of very attractive people... literally everyone in this group looked like a model. Especially this one girl I would have loved to have isolated. They were cool with us and very friendly.

Then came The BEAST to ruin our fun... drunk..beyond drunk...should have been kicked out hours ago... wearing a Jim Beam top on top of her green spagetti string top... designed for a girl 9 times skinnier then her.

She grabs a poolstick and just starts hitting balls on our table...totally fuckin up our game.

The pretty people explain to her that this isnt her game... and finally she walks away from the table... and comes up to me. Terrific. I can feel my value sinking by the second.

I try being polite when her beedy eyes catch mine...

me: "how are you?" and I take a step back.

-1: "blah blah blah I thought that was my pool game"me:"I guess not."

-1: "Its not fair, my people have been persecuted for so long."

me:"huh" she looks like a fat ugly white house wife.

-1:" I am native american and we be persecuted for 500 years... and blah blah blah"my dumbass, since I have a tiny bit of native american in my family tree... becomes interest in this conversation... and try to build slight rapport to be nice and social that I accept anyone.

-1:"yes my people are proud heritage, like my native sister COCKSAPULATAS...."

me: "what did you just say Cocks?" a tiny joke... i was expecting a giggle from her.*SLAAAAAPPPPP!* across my check.

-1: "you listen to me...blah blah blah" she is now breathing on me with dragon breath, and I am like for 4 seconds asking myself... did that just happen?

I feel my check feel hot... oh yea it did. The I got pissed! I only wish I dumped my drink on her, I never hit a girl in my life.

I was so fucking tempted to.I shove the girl away from me hard as I could... and start telling her to "get away from me you ugly useless cunt" over and over I am calling her a worthless piece of shit, cunt, fuck tart, drunken trailer trash whore.... she is just totally unreactive to it.

She is now trying to be nice to me!!?!!?

I shove her into the pool table... but she is a mountain of a woman... I am so tempted to smash her in the face. My wing.. I was a bit disappointed in... is ignoring the whole thing but keeping an eye on her. She continues to breath on me... I dont know how she is doing this but this fat ***** is literally forcing a windstorm out of her fat hole of a mouth.babbling to me

"I am sorry, I just been persecuted for so long.. and blah blah blah conspiracy theory, conspiracy theory, space aliens, the historic louis and clark expedition to Portland Oregon." she is literally a crazy *****... certified crazy!

the pretty people are ignoring me too now.

So I am on my own. I shove the ***** away one more time.. and go up to the bar and tell them to get this fat pig out of here.

They tell me this...she has a huge black boyfriend that is like 6'4 280 pounds... they dont want to get involved! WTF!!?

The boyfriend happens to not be there tonight he left her there HOURS ago.I was so pissed off.. I was telling them..she has no right to do what she did.. if she comes up to me again I am punching her in face!

They laugh and say "good luck with that, she is crazy."

Tell me a short story on how she backed up her car into the neighboors across the street porch one night.I look back at the pool table area... The pig disappears into the bathroom, not be seen again.

She is a regular in this place... I never interacted with her ever, she shows off her big huge fat tits all the time, she doesnt look native american at all, just a fat ugly housewife.

I seen her bf before he is huge and in shape..that POS must have no game, or she must be filthy rich. Disgusting!

Russian Invasion: Yanna and the bitch shield.

2008-07-29T20:33:00.000-07:00

The night after a really good night previously is the hardest... how could it possibly get any better then what happened the following day, right?So you just decide to chill, do really nothing interesting, just bask in the memories of yesterday... thats how most NORMAL people roll. Not Me. The party train has a permanent stop in my world.

So on with the story...

Sticki Notes, never fun...but fine:

DownTownAndrew, doesnt want to go out.

DownTownAndrew looks like crap.

DownTownAndrew gets pleaded with to come out...so he goes...looking like said crap.

Meets two new cool people, has a great time.

In walks two very attractive, slutty dressed females.

Whole bar of choads... notice... this isnt going to be pretty.

DownTownAndrew wing..starts making rookie mistakes...staring..learing at them.

DownTownAndrew kicks him back into reality. A close call.

DownTownAndrew left alone..to fend for himself and open this set of girls.

Decides not to... the fact that he looked like ****... shook the DownTownAndrew.

Neil comes back, we go and shoot pool.

Bypass girls... who are being swallowed up by all kinds of dudes putting them on a pedestal. Night killed, apparently.

Shoot pool vers. two choads who think they are hot ****...we run the table.

The ladies come down to where we are..... omfg... GAME ON.They are Russian... WHAT!!?

I Totally click with the one girl... Neil... not doing so hot with the other one.. who is acting like the in control ***** shield for the one I am talking to.

She keeps a very close eye on me. I tone done the seduction... to like volume level 3. It works... the girl "Yana"... says to me " You are the first guy ever ..who didnt come onto me so strong to try and **** me." The ***** shield backs off on watching me... but Neil is doing terrible.. he looks pissed off... and is starting to say stupid reactionary things to his girl.

Not good.

End of night comes... me and Yana are having a good time... she claims to be a world class skier... and my heart melts... omfg..can we get married right now? ( not said,thought.)

She talks about skiing like an expert, and we challenge each other to a future race. haha!

Closing time... I gotta close my tab..but the ***** shield is moving Yana out of the bar ASAP... the bartender..lets me go out to deal with this.. blah blah blah.. Yana still wants to party.. only place open is strip clubs... so guess where we go?

They had a window of 4 minutes to bounce on us... they stayed waiting in their parked car for us. Woohoo! We make a caravan to the strip club.Go to the strip club.... its dead..for 4am... no dancers really doing anything... for the next 2 hours.. I disappear with Yana... and I am making out with Yana on a couch.

She leaves to visit Russia on Monday, number/email exchange.... see you in two months.

The incredibly long version....Neil calls me up... "Im at the milf bar.. come on out, Im with Josh and his girl Mary." blah... I really didnt want to go out... especially meet new people... I look like a turd. "Call me in a hour..." 30 minutes go by...ring! "Dude, I am only up here for another 4 days... get the 4uck out of your house." I look in the mirror.. I seriously need a haircut at this point...my 3'oclock shadow is kicking in like sand paper now practically. Oh yea.. some girl is going to be all over me for sure.....riiiight?

I throw on a Tshirt, clean up a little bit... and Im out for another night of chaos. roll up to the bar... once again... its a choad fest of blue collar worker/sports nuts, a handful of girls... non too interesting. But our little crew of Neil,Josh,Mary.. ( two new people.) we were having the best time ever...talking about everything from the 1980's... all kinds of tv shows, cartoon, music, events,... we were having a cool time.

People were staring at us... wondering wtf all the noise and stuff was coming from our little group. We were rocking. Exchanged numbers with Josh and Mary. They were well aware of the night we touched the darkside...even they didnt have a clue how to interpret that nights events... just a simple: wtf?

It was now around 1 am.... and in walks two ladies.... HB7 & 8, the choad fest at the bar... started straightening themselves up for these two... it was going to be a bloodbath up at the bar. Every dude in there was eyeballing them.I got pics/video... waiting for my phone to finish syncing. I kicked Neil in the shin... "*******, dont even look at them...everyone else is." He keeps staring.. "you 4uckin idiot.. stop staring." Neil turns ghetto when he feels insulted "what ****a Im just lookin shiiiiit."

Josh and Mary... a solid couple.. good vibe.. Neil says to me "Well I guess its time for you to go start it up." I look back... they are settled in... but the bartender is on them, and the dudes to the left and right.. are basically salivatin over each other waiting for a chance to talk ****.

These girls are in for a long night of shooting down choads.And most definetly I am going to be in that pile...since I look like total ****. Josh and Mary say goodnight... and Neil has to drive them home... so he says Ill be back in 15 minutes.... go Open them.

Crap... this is not looking good for DownTownAndrew.

I got nobody around.. all the seats at the bar are taken... I look like a scruffy porcuepine, hair is oily and crud. I cant make this approach.. I gotta stall for time...and just observe. Oh and do I ever... I see roughly 4 dudes..get shot down... and one dude...4uck... he is doing well with them... so screw it.. its over.

I'll wait till Neil shows back up. So I play with my cellphone. And peek at them from time to time. No serious eyecontact..thankfully... or the 3 second rule...would have killed me on the spot..from being so far away at this point... would have telegraphed way too much interest. So I sat, drank, and twiddled the phone. Neil, finally shows back up.... ok ...you know what.. lets skip the bullshit and fast forward to the Strip club...as said in the Notes section....We get in.. no cover charge. No dancers either. Since these clubs usually have those stupid single seats.. I had to pull them over to the couch area... which worked..score! ***** Shield takes a seat in a chair....not good for Neil.

My girl.. is right next to me on the couch... and it becomes a touch feely love fest.Awesome kisser... then the next second she is up danceing to the music... then the next she is sticking her butt in my face.... omfg... I need relief... Neil's girl gets chatted up by some older guy... and for whatever reason..walks away with him.. Neil is on the couch alone. I cant help... my tongue is down Yana's throat.

I grab Yana... to dissappear too... pull her into the labdance area... nicee... we go at it.. like its mating season for jackals... with in moments.. a security dude.. is standing by the stairs to where we are. We clean up our selves.. and the dude steps to me...incredibly pissed off... but then realizes she is not a stripper.. nor does she work in the strip club... he backs off... gives me a " high-five" type of look... and walks off... but insists that we leave this dark area of the club.

we leave the club 10 minutes later.

The girls roll out... with lots of smiles and kisses from Yana... Neal isnt exactly a happy camper..walks to his car...and I see him starting to roll a blunt... and relaxes. The girls say good bye. See you in two months. The End.

Pics:http://www.flickr.com/photos/11724621@N06/?saved=1

Video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alcgb3xf_ec

I don't do dinner dates.

2008-07-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

With this gas crisis issue going on and the fact that my car takes premimum. I like it when I get a flirty text message and phone call from a old girlfriend. Like from 5 years ago.... technically not a "girlfriend"... I known her through mutual friends off and on... flirty, play pool together stuff. Very pretty face... body... back in the day I would hit it... but I havent seen her in a long time.. so curiosity got the best of me.

She tells me she bought a new bed. ( I work in home textiles trade ) ...and she shaved her legs... which is sorta a inside joke/code word for basically she is totally clean shaven.

Plus the fact that she says shes only going to stay out for 2 drinks then go home.
Its basically a come over here and F me. Horny as I am... I drive out there.

I havent seen this girl in a long time and she is down at this really crappy drug infested bar on the other side of town.

Pleasantries exchanged, and she looks great... we catch up a little... and then she starts introducing me to other people she now knows.... I cant believe she is introducing these people to me as her "friends".

One guy looks like he hasnt eaten in like 8 months, the other guy and his wife are a bunch of smelly drunks that look like if they could get away with pickpocketing me they would.

two drinks... turns into 6 drinks.. and its literally 6 am now... and she is starting to complain about how tired she is.. cant believe she stayed out this late. All along.. I am like.. lets get out of here.. but her scummy friends are just plain annoying, and hovering around us..talkin about a bunch of gossip shit that I dont care about.

A total DLV vibe is forming.. but I act polite... and these clowns are now like checking me out.

The girl.. starts rubbing up on me etc... getting me cockteased. Its time to close...go home and fuck. For what ever reason she now decided to have a power struggle with me infront of these lowlifes.. and says quietly to me:
" I dont know what you were thinking...blah blah blah"

I tell her "Im not looking for anything.. I just want to get out of this bar."

She says " well its been so long.. we will need to do a dinner date first."

I take a long pause... I decided to go against the grain right then and there... Fuck it, I really dont need this girl. Where was she for 5 years. I dont remember how it ended it kinda just faded. All the girls that I have dated are of way way way more higher quality than her. I took a shallow breath and looked her in the eyes:

"I no longer do dinner dates" I say.

(Seriously I am done with that crap. I feel used... and besides there is no future with this girl she should know that.)

I explain for about 5 minutes on how a dinner DATE, becomes so rigid... and changes the whole dynamic of two people. and that I dont feel comfortable doing dinner dates, so I stopped doing them. I will do something else.. like join you for an activity of some kind... which is less "date structured".

( mind you.. yes I do dinner dates... just not with her.. I have no desire to do this... plus she flirts on the phone..to get me out by her... DHV's herself via my status to her scummy friends.. I gain nothing from her's other than I know she gives a great BJ.)

Basically my underminding ways is to say to this girl...without saying it... is that I have no intentions of dating you... do you want to fuck or not?

I am perfectly fine with a negative answer.

She is totally confused. I say "well, its getting late... I gotta drive home"
she says "call me on sunday I have off that day" hug/kiss bye.Im not going to.... No Free Dinners.

I did not call her on Sunday.

Oneitis breaks her leg.

2008-07-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

I posted about her before... my oneititis... she sent me a simple text message of happy birthday...instead of even a voice phone call... after that I went on a tear opening up sets and restarting my online game.

Well, I get a call and txt from her saying that she is up in Canada recovering from 36 screws placed into her broken leg! She broke it here in the US.. but went to Canada for the screws because it was nearly 1/2 the cost.

So for three weeks... I am on this binge of woman and booze. Not knowing any of this.. trying to forget her I guess...because I assumed it was basically completely over. I would login to gmail.. and she would appear to be online.. but not send me a chat request or anything... really cold.

So I didnt and have not up until today attempted any communication with her. Only a few times I would change my status bar to: " hello,world" or "stareing contest" to bust her balls on not breaking down and saying hello to me FIRST.

I refused to be weak, after she sends me just a f'n text message happy birthday...after all the stuff I did every holiday to keep our failing relationship afloat.So here I am... she is up in Canada alone.

Do I act like a hero and go up to Canada... and potentially drive her back home.. since its possible she might not be able to fly home due to risk of blood clots?

So yea.. obviously I have feelings for my oneititis... still. but the other side of me.. is like ... whatever,sucks for you. Because I really did try and work things out. We broke up under bullshit reasons that had no merit...and she was stubborn to forgive me on something that never really did happen.

Its been about 7 days since we talked on the phone briefly... she did not give me much information to go on as to where exactly she is. Or what I could do for her. I left her another long voicemail tonight. I dont expect a reply...either she is resting... or really truly ignoring me now.

The Darkside.

2008-07-29T20:21:00.000-07:00

This is a bit long, but I gotta document it... if for only my own sanity, I dont know how entertaining it will be for you the reader... but for me... it hit every emotion almost. Touching the Darkside.When my good friend and wing, kneel, comes in to town strange things always seem to happen. Case & Point, this past Wednesday. After going to one lame bar... and barely able to open up any decent sets.. we just started to drink and bullshit. Then we go back to one of our favorite old bars thats usually full of milfs that are down for some scromping. laugh.We walk in, its basically dead...full of dudes.. but they got decent drink prices and pool tables. Then she walked in....easily an HB8, wearing a strapless colorful top, tight jeans... walked past me and kneel... kneel looks at me... and I know what I gotta do. She comes out of the bathroom... sits up at the bar... alone..a good 10 minutes go by. Kneel notices a ring on her finger... hmmm.. usually I dont mess with a married woman. 5 more minutes go by. How she is sitting, I cant make eye contact or witness any IOI's. I gotta go in and take it.I walk up.. and basically say," Hey you seem kinda bored up at the bar.. you want to come to our table and chat, have some conversation." she starts putting her stuff back in her purse... and says "sure." gets up...and follows me to our table. The best feeling ever came over me... the dudes at the bar were in shock.. they got all smug on my approach like "that wont work" was written on their faces... to "holy shit, she is leaving for his table!?!" Kneel.. is in a bit of shock.. but is smiling.. he quickly puts his cellphone away that he was hiding behind. small talk revelations go as this: She is going through a messy divorce, she lives on the other side of town...her psycho ex husband is following her around...she is waiting for someone called "her heavy" to meet her at this bar. I dhv myself with pics of travel on my phone, and I am getting hardcore eye contact and kino now... its running really good now. Then in walks a strange man. Im not going to reveal his real name.. so lets just call him "bugs".Bugs had the biggest eyes you ever seen in your life...not a big man.. so how can he be called her "heavy". Dressed in chefs uniform. She introduced him as her friend... he didnt hug her or anything.. just sat at our table.. and talked to kneel.. and everything was cool. we had some long conversation.. I talked to the girl, Taylor for a long time. Her answers to questions were very vague... nothing in complete solid ground. Strange. His answers...were even vaguer. He is wearing a chefs uniform..but actually works as a chef... in another state..thats 4 hours away by car? strange. So we go over to the pool table and play... guys at the bar were checking me and her out.. as I was hugging onto her waist and playing cocky funny.. since she was such a good pool player... Then she announces, "hey lets get out of her and go back to my place...I got some dank nugs." P O T.So she is hot, and she smokes... kneel is all about the nugs.. I am kinda sorta.. I dont need it. But when a pretty woman is involved... ofcourse I am going. So we are off to her place....

So I am following her car... it has no license plate on it, its a Crown Vic...that looks like a police car here in the states. We drive into a beautiful neighboorhood... up into the driveway of a nice subburban home. She parks in the garage.. strange the car doesnt fit in the garage. Kneel rolls up in his car... me I am in mine. We all walk into the house. Its about 1am.Ok I was expecting... a bowl or two... but also I am thinking... how do I get THE GIRL. I send a txt to kneel: I am fkn her. I opened the set, so I owned the set. Kneel knows this etiqute completely, but I just had to let him know.He nods, to me. So I know.. he will be working on the shield "bugs."but...a backpack from bugs and the girl was brought into the kitchen... and unzipped.. and mason jar after mason jar FULL of the most sickest dank sticky fresh nugs ever! I have seen a few really good nugs in my day... but this had to be easily $2000 worth of: Super Skunk, Hinukush, Purplehaze, pinapplekush, silverback, nightmare, ak-47, OMFG.... WHAT!!!???!! HUH!?!WHAT?!?! me and kneel are like awe struck... this is like major major weed.so we start smoking... the girl is all jolly and giggly.. we start smokin more...and now I am completely wasted... I cant move...nor really talk... as we go back to the living room to chill..and drink large glasses of water to combat the dry mouth. Bugs.. is now talking up a storm about weed... the girl is chilling... and then decided to give both kneel and me shotgun blasts off of her blunt. OMFg.. I am like beyond stoned now. I walk around the house... and i reveal...that the house is for sale.. from the flyers in the front den of the house...STRANGE.I go upstairs... there is furniture and pictures of a family...that is obviously not her's... STRANGE. So we are basically squating in a house with two probably major playing drug dealers. But f' all that.. I want to get laid. 3 hours go by...that felt like an eternity... and things are starting to get quiet.. I start grabbing on the girl again... and its stop and go stop and go..because of Bugs... things are getting so awkward..because now kneel too wants her. conversations start to die off... except for bugs..who continues to chat about odd things, etc. She takes her weed smoking like a champ.. plays along with my advances.. but I cant seem to seal the deal. I start to get bored... and announce that its time to go. I was pretty sure that kneel was going to stay behind. But I basically gave up after grabbing her panty line on the couch.. and she gave me a eyeball look of like "I cant, he or they are here." Or was that? did I missinterpret it. Bugs, wasnt cockblocking at all... was he her pimp? did they want us to buy their weed?They never even made an offer... it was all so vague everything they said... WHO THE FUCK WERE DEALING WITH!??On the exit... it was awkward... almost like she and bugs were disappointed that we decided to leave. The good bye.. wasnt normal... it was like.. ok..goodbye... they didnt follow us outside.. they stayed in the family room. She didnt make any effort to hug or be really warm on the exit.When me and kneel go outside... alone. I say "dude, dude.. he wants us to fuck her!" "HUH?" dude.. check it.. he aint cockblocking he aint doing nothing.look at the house.. its not theres, the car has no plates... they are major players in something! just then... a car a honda civic.. comes creeping ever so slowly down the street infront of the house... stops... creeps along..stops...puts it in reverse... stops. then drives off.Ok.. me and Kneel..are still basically high.. and we are freaked out!"Dude..follow me.. stay on my ass." so forget going back into the house... who ever is in the car.. must have been watching us... probably has our plates...etc. This is ****** up.I follow kneel... we dont see the other car... and we make a bunch of crazy turns... to shake anyone. Then we pull into a parking lot... to discuss just what the hell happened.nearly at the same time in stero we both said " Dude, did that just happen?"I got her phone number, and "bugs" number... they told me I am 1 of 4 people to have these numbers. I touched the darkside. Its scary as HELL!If I am to call... today would be the day.

My Wingman comes back home! Let the games begin.

2008-07-29T20:17:00.000-07:00

Ok... the next couple stories you are going to read I have to credit my friend Neil on. He is one of the best Wings I ever had. He gets it, he knows when to shut the fuck up, when to have fun, it works really well. He is very social and remembers people's names like a champ.
We caught up on some old stuff... drinks... and the first night wasnt that eventful. But the next day... we touched the dark side, met a crazy angry man, russian girls, a bitch slap, .... enjoy reading.

Twins Update

2008-07-29T20:08:00.000-07:00

It's nearly over. It was alot of fun around my birthday... but its officially 25 days since then and the interaction has become incredibly flaky. Phone calls are next to impossible or txt message bullshit that I cant stand.

They are both 18, my AFC Wingman... has become stalkerish on his girl..and has sent my girl virtual kiss bullshit on to her myspace page. I called him out on it, and reminded him to stay on his fence or things will get even more confusing. He agreed, and had some lame excuse. No worries, I just had to mention it.

My girl posts messages of meeting a nice sweet guy. My Wing's girl met some dude who failed really quickly. To not give off the jealousy plot line... I sent an email out to her saying that I am cool with her having a life and meeting people. Positive response in a email... slightly flirty one night... but its all online bullshit.

Her phone doesnt respond... so to me its all fluff flaky bullshit.

So I just keep opening up new sets like a champ. I have no regrets.. I am not boo hooing over her, it was fun. It would be great to use her as a pivot and for social proof at public functions... but I dont see this happening. If I enter the friends zone... thats fine with me too. Nothing wrong with gaining a pretty girl as a friend.

I am happy over all!

Ok..I am back.

2008-07-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

A few posts to add here... that makes up for about I dunno... 15 days of not typing anything on here. I been playing the field and learning alot. So dont think I was slipping... and playing video games and downloading pron. I was in the field learning valuable lessons.

Once again.. slacking on my missions.

2008-07-07T22:13:00.001-07:00

I know.. but damn look at my field reports... its getting in the way of my missions, my mind.
I also re-started up my online game.

After having a staring contest like the cowboy shoot outs of yester year.. or like the stare downs before the first bell in a UFC fight.

Me and my oneitis were both logged into gmail.

She wouldn't send me any messages.. I also havent called her in a week.
See who blinks first.. my birthday was coming up in 2 days.
Then up it pops... "I dont think I can make it out there." BBQ my parents had planned. I didnt respond, I shut down my screen. Within a milisecond.

No phone calls... for and up to my birthday.
I was thinking she would call at midnight on the 3rd.. and she didnt. Thats what I did on the day before her's May 19th.

On the day of my birthday...she sends me A TEXT MESSAGE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I say thank you back... I still dont call her.

If she doesnt want to call me on my birthday... then I am not calling her for that validation.

Today again.. as I post this... for 8 hours.. we were both logged into gmail... and no text messages.
I refuse to budge on this.

To me I am starting up my online game again... if you read one of my very first posts.. you would understand the epicness of this. But my focus is on direct contact, not via a computer.
Online work.. goes along with anyone I met in person. Might as well have a presence online.
I have lots of pics to share of my travels, and personality.
Missions are coming back.

Field Report: 2 Twins, 18 years old, on my birthday.

2008-07-07T22:05:00.001-07:00

This was epic. Enjoy:

Me and a friend divided and conquered two HB8, 18 year old twins.

It was amazing, I guess we selected which one we wanted..though they are identical and only born 3 minutes apart, via first glances.

All I know is that I didnt have to worry about anything my wingman was saying... I was able to run all my material and hook the one I liked... it was like two seperate bubbles of conversations were going on.

My girl was a bit more mature then the other one...which made it soooo smooth for us.

For bonus, this all happened on my birthday, July 4th...at a lame pool party.

There was suppose to be a bunch of strippers, and hooters girls..according to the lame POS host of the party. A party where he says.. "oh its BYOB". WTF!?!! 4uckin JEW, and I can say that because I am a jew.

None showed up.. other then his generic friends with children. two old hags with big tits... I seriously thought this birthday was going to be total depressing ****... my friend kkept promising me dont worry some girls will show up...

and then in walks these two hot twins...

that my friend met up at the grocery store.. A CASHIER AND A GROCERY BAGGER THEY ARE. He pulled them to go to this party.. via emails and phone calls.

They are inseperabable. well... kinda.. you will see.

My friend has skills with young girls.. I cant hang really if they are immature.

So some drama starts up quit quickly with the host....Where a 50+ year old man convinced himself that one of the girls was for him.. because it was his house.

He tried running some really corny jokes like "I have a friend named peg, yea she has one leg, she works at ihop, and I told her to go over by Eileen who also has one leg." He got blank stares from the girls.

Actually at mine.

He tried firing off another round of AMOG charm... and I just say "Hey Kimberly, lets go outside and watch the fireworks." She says "o.k." gets up... and arm and arm..we walked out of his rich little billiard room in his house...

By the end of the night.. my friend went his way with one.. I went with mine...I ate her out on my friends coutch.

Then she tells me that she is a virgin.

We have a day 2 tomorrow.

To that choad, You choad piece of $hit backstabber... I thought this old guy was a friend.

Today I hear that he was totally convienced that the girl was giving him "eyes". And that I couldnt possibly pull that quality of a girl.

Hell I did better then my friend did with the other twin.

Tonight(last night) at hooters watching the UFC fights... he comes in.. sits at our table and tells a mutual friend about the girls... and how the one was bending over the pool table with her tits out and giving him "eyes'... he is talking about my girl.

Trying to **** with me.. cause he wasnt sure what happened that night... so he turns to me and asks me really cheeky expecting me to say it failed...
I look him square in the eye
...pause...
and say " I ate her pussy out on your basement couch."

This was his look: :\

I went back to drinking my beer.

I dont care where this goes after that night.. I dont care if she never calls me again..
5 txt messages say she will day2 with me... but even if that if that happens... because I am fully aware now...that there is an ocean of beautiful woman out there.

I am not a old choad looking for scraps like this 4ucker.

I know I have skills, I might be a skinny tall maybe lanky man with a jewish hook nose.. but yea.. I gets L A I D.

I had a wonderful night that she and I had.

I just turned 36, and I ate out an 18 year old's pussy on my birthday.It was the freshest, cleanest, no scent, no funky taste, I ever had, lips were "INNIES" I go nanners when I see that as I posted before. Pinkiest nipples ever. Full breasts, she is gifted. This was epic... and sweet.

I didnt turn her out completely.... yet. Wash away those thoughts that they are total sluts... they really are HOT Nerds.

Who dont go out much. So I will be gentle for a long time...then will try the crazy fun stuff.

Guys, please dont wait to be an old man to feed off your younger friends foodchain like that old man tried to do us. Live in the now.

Missions...I am slacking a bit.

2008-07-02T22:41:00.001-07:00

I know I been slacking on my missions... I should have been around Day 18 or something by now. Fact is, I am taking my time for one. I cruised through all these missions awhile ago... so I want to build up my foundations a bit more. Plus, I am busy with work and other stuff getting in the way. Regardless my mission posts should start to stack up again on time. Field Reports to me are more important...so that I can look back and critique what happened...good and bad.
So yea... Mission reports will be back.
NEXT!

Field Report: Punk rock girl, 2 choads, and her parents.

2008-07-02T21:42:00.000-07:00

Stroll into another favorite bar, kinda dead. I am totally puzzled.. then quickly figure out that tonight is actually Wednesday.. not Tuesday.. so its not 2-for-1 tonight..place is dead.

Make some calls, no one is coming out tonight... no big deal. Walk to outside bar... and this girl who works there is in street clothes, she works her. Covered in Tatoos, blonde, very pretty eyes, thats about all I knew of her. I lean back on the wall by her sorta as she talks to some old lady.
Friend from ny calls me... and I havent spoken to him in a long time.. the place is dead.. so I turn the conversation it a loud DHV story about some recent travel I did, and plans to go to a beach house in Israel in a month or two.I make zero contact with the girl. Say goodbye to my friend.. look around.. and bam...SOLID EYE CONTACT!

All I thought was 1,2,3, Go!

I am pwning that bs 3 second rule this time.. no waiting... not sure what I am going to say to her.. I got no tatoos, and then I see it... she has a tatoo of the skelton character from the band Social Distortion.. and I already have a legit story about that tattoo. I jump in, and stack my story... ( this girl got the same tat..but had no clue about the band.)

She gives me a big high-5, some choad next to her tried jumping in with some choady statement.. that we both dismissed... the bubble was forming around us!

I talk my game about music... get strong hand shake ghetto stylee move ( I hate that ish, really.) among more IOI's.

I sit down.. she swivels towards me.. and we start talkin about punk,hardcore, etc. Clicking, but I feel eyes on us... and she says "oh these are my parents."

I say hello, doesnt phase me.. but these choads I guess wanted to protect their daughter or hear my game. So I just plow.

Its going well... but my voice.. is hitting high tones of seeking acceptance.. and this is bad. So I take a long sip of beer. Slow down, louder voice. Heart is still affected by a bit of AA still..which sucked.

and then this POS semi-drunken dude roles up... she knows him.. he is like all over her.. with hugs, keeping his arm on her shoulder. Telling her about work stuff.. ( not her bf.)

I intro myself to a lukewarm welcome.
Ok, well thats all you get. I clam up to him.. he continues the convo with her.. but he is low status.. I dont want to deal. If he was cooler.. It would have been better.

Let her decide.. I really dont care.

He finds out the same... her parents are right there... he is a bit embarassed but plows through. I start getting bored with the whole deal... I get quiet. f' it... I get up and bounce back to where I started at on the wall.

She looks over a few times.. I ignore.. if she wants it.. get over here.

I get a call from my friend.. I tell him whats up.. he shows up. He is laughing at this choad being all try hard on her.. foot on her stool, leaning in.

Personally if this who she hangs with... a choady readneck with a golden fishing hook on his cap... I seen better fishes. Eventually this choad leaves.. so another empty seat next to her. But I dont budge.. thats too much knowledge for her. I hang back.

Her mom gets back on my empty seat.. and whispers in her ear... the girl gets up and walks away.

So I chill with my friend for a bit.
He leaves to go home... I dont see any targets worthy of me.. so I pay my tab and go to my car. Sure enough I get IOI's from like 3 girls over their shoulder. Their loss, Im out.
Always tomorrow.

Field Report - 2 girl # close. HB6 & HB7.

2008-06-28T16:05:00.000-07:00

I ran tight game, good eye contact and caused a jealousy plotline that netted me 2 #'s and a possible lunch date. HB7 is 22, studying to be a psychologist, very nice body, love her voice. HB6 was a petite blonde..but a bit sloppy drunk, and a bit depressing to be honest. I dunno... maybe nothing will come of this.. but for a night I just wanted to go out and have 1 drink and go home..turned it a pretty productive night.

detailed:

Stroll into one of my favorite bars.. get a lucky seat next to a HB7, next to her is an HB6. Both were very friendly, conversation was going very well... learned alot about her. But I think I spent too much time DHVing myself... like it literally because a long conversation about work. A Jealousy plot line started to appear.

I made some serious eye contact with the HB6...and it was so on. I probably could have nailed her in the bathroom. But she started drinking way too much. Getting sloppy.

The HB7, knew the bartender.. I knew the other..a girl. Which I think helped ALOT, I wasnt just so random of a person to her. Suddenly the bartender shows up with a drink for her..she didnt order. He goes on to say its from that guy..(short,fat,balding old man.)

The bartender goes on to explain "He is a rich trust fund guy, with loads of money." I neg it by saying "thats pretty weak, he doesnt invest any time in getting to know you and just sends a drink over." She negs me back by saying "well why dont you just accept it as a friendly jestour" I laugh it off and repeat "thats just weak." about 20 minutes go by.. guess who is standing behind us..the dude.

I see him out of the corner of my eye..but he doesnt make one approach nor says anything. I didnt give him much of a chance either. He pays his tab and leaves.

HB7 wants to bring her drunken guy friend out to a cab and says she will return.

I didnt think she would... so the HB6... starts negging the girl after she leaves.."she isn't right for you." etc. So me and her number exchange... guess who comes back.. HB7 briefly to pay her tab... stays about 20min. coversation was still good, got some more qualities from her... I number exchange her as well. I was sitting in the middle of these two girls... It was a bit stressful at first..but then I just said..fuck it.. I just met both of them.. let them figure it out.

This other girl was checking me out...she was very pretty, hope to run into her again. The eye contact was probably the best I ever did... because..we locked in.. and both smiled..and she looked down... a sign of submission. I won. It was fantastic. but I am not on the level of spreading myself among three girls... and she was with some guy. back to the girls...

Hug/kiss both.. end of the night walk out with the HB6. Since the HB7 already left early.
HB6 is so short though... not really feeling it. I think she is like 5' or 4'8 I dont know.. it could be fun. but something, I just was not feeling about her.

The HB7, was brilliant, and a slammin body, hopefully I can continue with her. I dont know if I AFCed.. when I got to my car.. I called her up 30 minutes later... no answer.. left a pleasant voicemail saying pleasure to meet up, and something elese.. like hope we can get together again... I hated the fact I used a needy word... which might have killed that. But I dont care.. she lives all the way on the other side of town. The HB6 wants to meet up for lunch soon. Blah. I dunno.
It was still a fun unexpected night.

Day 5 - Grooming, fashion update, presentation.

2008-06-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

Day 5 is all about grooming myself and cleaning up my visual avatar sorta speak.

Teeth:
I purchased Crest Whitening stripes to see if that helps my teeth...though I was told that my mom who was so impressed by the professional whitening that my dad got, has set me up for an appointment after my birthday. Thats like $400! Should be awesome, but just incase she decides to buy me a business tie instead... Im going to start the next 30 days with the whitening stripes. I tried that real expensive toothpaste... forgot the name... like $9.00 a tube...and the stuff did nothing. If this is a set it and forget it, the stripes should help out. My teeth are really not that bad. But with the technology today.. I might as well take advantage.

Clothes:
I also plan on cleaning out my clothes closet, tossing out old shirts, etc. I did this three times already. I do have way too many tshirts from places I have traveled to, its kinda hard to get rid of them. I also have a ton of clothes I never wear... its time to give them away. Also I have an issue with a bunch of pairs of jeans I own.. all the zippers have worn out and leave me with a "your fly is open" look. I been meaning to bring some of these jeans to a tailor...but once again, I am in the fucking South... and they would want to charge me $37 for a new zipper...basically the cost for a pair of new jeans on sale somewhere. fuck that. I gotta toss them. I got two pair that are totally for sarging. They kick ass, I bought them in Portugal, and the others I purchased in Macy's up in NYC. When I was up there. Down here.. in SC.. dont get me fuckin started.

Shoes, I got decent shoes, but not like attractive shoes, like damn check those out. I am very conservative in this department... I dont play for the Knicks, I am not in a hip-hop band, I dont work at a steel mill, nor do have a skateboard anymore unfortunately. I keep my kicks for a long, long time. For instants, I have one pair that I walked all around europe in for about a year...they are all banged up...brown, low brow nike kicks...and for whatever reason...nike stopped manufacturing them... and keeps manufacturing these ugly ass sneakers. I am just an white dude in need of sneakers, not a trend setter in this department.

Hair: already got a cut...but I think its time to find a new stylist. I go to this sportsclips place.. it was great in the beginning. I nearly sarged this super hot black girl there. The woman that cuts my hair is really cool. She has given me her # a bunch of times. But there is alot of confusion as to if she is married or not. We or should I say... I talk to her about a ton of things going on in my life... its cheaper then a shrink... but geez lets face it... the girl is cutting your hair... its fairly intimate.. I obviously cant kino escalate with a black robe over my body. So I sit there and just DHV myself the whole time. At one point, recently she said " You live a very interesting life."
So we are cool with each other. If its fake... then I am a sucker for hired guns no doubt. I'll still tip her well for dealing with all my chatter.

Body: I posted about this before. I know I need to workout and start eating better.
I took an oath on the stylelife forum to commit to doing situps for a six pac. I haven't done any for about a week now. I always have an excuse...too much gas, just ate, just got home, time for bed. etc. So I need to commit to my body a helluva alot more. I been doing some very minor positive things, I got a powerball for my forearms, and I already see some improvements.
I know I will be posting more about my body... its a major sticking point I need to work on to get me where I want to be. I'm taking baby steps for now. moderate weight dumbbells. and a basic routine, at my leisure. Next month will be more commitment...this is just my breaking in routine. Next month.. its all out war. Which is only in about 7 days from now.

Tan: laugh... asked my mom for suggestions and she gave me a bottle of this stuff that worked amazingly well. I am terrified of putting it on my face... and end up looking like one of those guido bastards from livingston,NJ or some shit. But on my forearms.. it rocked. I also did some tanning outside.. but got fried like a tomatoe. It was stupid, no lotion... and about 45minutes in the sun fried me good under the southern sun.

Hands & Feet: I dunno, my nails are decent from my own clippers. Stylelife says to get a manicure/pedicure. But lets face it.. I am in South Carolina. I really dont want to get swung from a tree by some rednecks walking out of the liquor store. Also I really dont feel comfortable getting it done to begin with. Hopefully I can talk some girl into doing my hands at her place or mine some day, and not have to worry about this stuff. Worst case, I will get them done out of town in some major city. It would be good for myself...and for business...that tailored manicured look. In the back of my mind.. its yelling..wtf dude..this is homo...err..too metrosexual.

Nose Hairs:I got to mention these little bastards that annoy me. I will be at a bar, or somewhere public... and bam.. one starts wiggling, poking the very opening of my nostril... and goddamn it. Oh does it piss me off. Now I gotta sit and wonder... ok.. can this person see this big black fucking pubic hair looking thing jutting out of my nostril. All day long.. they behave in those black little caves...then at the worst goddamn time... they decide to move around and check out the opening. or poke my inner side to the point I gotta rub my nose a bunch of times like I am landscaping my face. The nose clippers are coming you little bastards. Die. I heard they grow back even faster. Which will suck... because I dont want to be THAT GUY.

Assessories: Bought another cool ass watch. from Tokyoflash, its pretty space age, I need to put together a cool outfit to wear with it. Its kinda hard to be congruent to this type of watch. It doesnt have dials... its a set of red,green,yellow, LED's that cascade and tell the time. This is my latest assessory.. I always buy this type of stuff.

Summary for Now: So I basically have no more excuses to how I dress. Other than the fact that I hate wearing shorts, and I live where its hot as an oven now. Its probably my legs I hate more...skinny. But I guess the changes will take place with my commitment to doing so. I know I have too many t-shirts... and my summer wardrobe basically sucks. I am more acclimated to cooler temps up north, and especially winter. But I will adapt.

Body Language

2008-06-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

So for Day 4...besides asking girls for a mens store recommendation. I am also suppose to make sure that my posture is in check, and my over all body language shows strong confidence. So right here I am going to write down some stuff that will help me out and to remind myself:

Spinal Alignment - Think of your spine as a stack of coins. Each disc of your vertebrae should be balanced on top of the other, with your skull comfortable perched atop. The key is to become aware of your posture, which alone takes practice. I printed the words "Sit up Straight" next to my computer as a reminder and it worked for me. When you catch yourself slumping, imagine your head as a helium balloon pulling your spine straight. Try to keep your ribs and hips aligned with each other as much as possible. When you bend over, bend at the waist and slightly bend your knees, instead of curving your spine.

Stand with your back against the wall...make sure your hips, heels, butt and shoulders are touching the wall. In addition, the back of your head just above the level of your chin should be against the wall. Remain there for 1 minute. Check behind your back for gaps..tighten the abs if needed. Move away from the wall.. and check your posture.

Commit the position and alignment to memory.

Stylelife, Alexander Technique:

How ghey, they prevented embedding the video... but anyway here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwET_AVjiuU&feature=related

from there is a link to part 2.

P90x might be the answer.

2008-06-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sick of the way I look physically.

I am tall and thin... 6' and 165. All the medical books tell me that I am in ideal weight/height ratio... but I think thats bullshit.

Physically I am healthy other than a minor sore back that acts up on occassion... and I have like zero feeling on the top of right foot from when I jumped off this huge jump skiing out in Utah this past winter.

Its all been checked out and prodded and probed.. and the docs say dont worry about anything.
My diet... basically totally sucks. There are days where I eat everything in sight and gain 9-10 pounds in a few days or weeks. Then there are other days...were I barely eat anything for the most part.

I skip ALOT of meals... and on occassion have gone to bed hungry... telling myself I will eat something huge in the morning... which ends up being coffee and some other shit.

I took some steps in the right direction... I set up my cellphone (nokia n95, its badass.) to remind me to eat 700 calories every 3 hours basically. Its worked.. and hasn't worked... I need to be more displined on this. But its a start.

I got the 700 calories from an ebook I read that did all the math for carbs, fats, etc. It would basically put me at eating an extra 500 calories per day all said and done... so with that step... I better be gaining some fucking weight. I want to weigh 185, at the least.
I also "got" the p90x videos, and guides... then tonight I got lucky and found an awesome excel sheet to keep everything organized. from this website: http://nick90x.blogspot.com/2007/09/day-7-x-stretch.html
I was so stupidly happy about finding it I sent him an oldschool email instead of hitting up his blog... THANKS Nicolas!

I was pretty psyched that all I need is minimal equipment. I dont know about buying the pullup bar... but I might get something similar.

Day 4 - Local Menswear recommendations. - updated.

2008-06-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

I need to ask three woman to recommend a cool local clothing store that carries menswear.
I will post results either later tonight... or tomorrow. stay tuned.

UPDATE.

One place I been hanging out at lately has been the trashy restaurant "Hooters". I dont have to explain this place to you I hope... basically they screen thier waitresses for only pretty girls... there are a few exceptions to this rule..but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right. Hell yea.
Me and J have been hanging out here for awhile...since he has a contract to make repairs, and he gets to eat technically for free. I dont have that luxury... the price are ridiculous for shitty food.
The girls are pretty, and very friendly. J has made great strides with these ladies... they are fairly comfortable hanging out at our table. A few have came over to Eddie's house. This house is a total bachelor pad: swimming pool, sauna, hot tub, steam room, pool table, etc. J is a guest at this house since he works for Eddie... and well, his parents sold the house he was living at. The doublewide, that his grandfather use to live in...was I think signed over to him.. but I guess its hard to move out to that place with these luxuries at your fingertips..and much less of a commute to work, when you live there. J calls Eddie his business partner...Eddie..calls J, his worker. You follow me.
Back to the mission....
hanging out with J... and this gorgeous girl I never seen before is there... not in uniform. Since J has all the 411 on these girls...names, single, married, kids, etc. (via myspace.) He sees my interest and jumps at talking to her. I make good eyecontact...yet still J never introduces anyone else to a girl...ever. I show little interest in her.. and the conversation. Later on.... this girl is holding court with her girlfriends... showing off all these pretty little t-shirts she purchased.
Instantly I remembered my mission that I was slacking off on. So when the time was right. I asked some questions about where did she get those shirts, did they have a men's department.
To show DHV... I name dropped really expensive names of jean companies... and asked if she thinks they sell them there. I complained a bit too much about taxes on clothing in South Carolina... by mentioning I am originally from NJ...where there is no tax on clothing. She kinda... got hypnotized.. or didnt follow what I was talking about. I guess she is just use to paying tax on clothes without a second thought. To me that issue pisses me off. She ended the conversation with you should check it out.

However, I do want to mention for the mission it said to dress incredibly comfortably well... before making the approach.

I was wearing: Jeans, some cool shoes I like, and green polo style shirt. I was not clean shaven. So I dont think I got a critique with her suggestion.

So this wasnt exactly mission accomplished.

Next time... in my 5 person a day chat routine... I will ask the question and be dressed for the response. I am curious.. since I already know all the place that will be stated... Im just curious.. how my style will be interpreted... it could be anything from:
High end, to shitty college priced crap.

SC has no fashion sense for guys... girls have like a billion cool places to shop. I shop online mostly, and especially when I travel.
Columbia has like zero independent shops that have the balls to bring in less known names.

For instants... if you want to get laid down here... wear a Ralph Lauren Polo shirt, down here they cost a premium of around $60+, local girls know this. To me it pisses me off, knowing that up in NYC, this crap is a dime a dozen practically.

Today's Affirmation.

2008-06-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

"You are amazing. People love and respect you. You radiate charisma, charm and grace. You stand out from everyone around you. Talking to you is a privilege. And you deserve the best the world has to offer. It's all there out there, waiting for you."

Day Three - Vocal Training.

2008-06-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

I need to work on this alot.
I have a very unique voice for my body. Its a fairly deep voice.. but I am a tall, thin man. 6' about 165.... part of my self improvement is putting on weight.. and lifting weights.. but thats a post for another time.

Yea, so my voice is pretty low... I dont necesarrily talk under my breath. Or squeek like a mouse. But I definetly need to control it more.

I have my days where my voice is very booming and pronounced... but that comes from inner game, and what state I am.

I must have a unique voice... like when I order drinks.. or whatever... people to the sides of me... who had their back to me.. would turn around to look. I think if I put on weight and muscle I would have alot more for the voice...total alpha male stylee.

I do remember the first time meeting this couple for a dinner date with my gf at the time... and I needed directions so I spoke to the guy via the phone. When we got to the house... he opened the door fairly cautiously and was starring up... like above me... I'm 6' tall... I think he was expecting a giant to be knocking at his door. He even mentioned this. I just smiled. But noted it... I need to work on my physical body, to match my voice.

I am very polite, with pleases and thank you's through out my conversations of small talk. I hate loud clubs though... I cant raise my voice loud enough... which is something I need to get comfortable with. I totally prefer quieter venues... but these places usually dont attract the really fun girls. Also in some conversations... people I think cant hear me... though I think I am talking loudly and especially clearly. Im going to do some of the tests that The Game suggested, via tape recording.

Listening Training.
Maybe its coming with old age...but my hearing is starting to suck... or its me. I been known to finish other peoples sentences.. so I kinda tune out sometimes. But in recent years I have controlled that rudeness. Now its even more of a problem... I sometimes can not hear people.
The pua community says its weak to lean in. Instead its better to get the person to speak up or lean into you instead..this is more alpha. Or just kino.. with talking directly into their ear.. and then turning yours. I dunno... basically I need to work on my listening... hand n hand with this would be memory. Peoples names,etc. I been using the Peg System... so far it has worked.
I am also listening to: Conversational Confidence, a bunch of mp3's on being a better speaker, listener, and general conversation skills... openers, eye contact, etiqutte.. its a bit lengthy... and well.. I get bored... listening... on what I should be doing. laugh. But I am trying to improve.

Day 3 Mission - moviefone - the call.

2008-06-19T13:25:00.000-07:00

Wow... strange mission... and it was cool. So you gotta call a random number... ask if this is moviefone... they ofcourse say no... and you gotta take control of the conversation and ask them for a suggestion...before they hangup or whatever. WOW!... a bit of an adrenaline rush... I called some random number... my luck some girl answers... I totally adlibbed through it... and she was cool with it... but said she just got off work...and could not think of a movie to suggest... it was fun prodding for a comedy movie request... she made a noise with her tongue and said "I really don't know." I thanked her for her time and disconnected.

Jeepers, my heart was going.... its like all the feelings of Approach Anxiety right there. Totally mindblowing. Im totally safe where I am... the worst that could happen was a "fuck you" or a "click". None of which happened.

One thing I do have to point out is that this is in South Carolina... people are waaaaaaay more friendlier down here then any other place. If this was NYC... I could only imagine the hell it would be gettting through this mission. I think for the helluva it.. Im going to do this on Friday night before I go out... to get rid of AA alot faster. I feel so alive. Laugh!

Field Report 2-2, Well she is worthless.

2008-06-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

Uhhhhhggggg! This field report is going to suck. But I guess someone can learn from my mistakes... myself included. Here goes:

background info: Long while ago... I met and fucked this girl that literally turned 21 years old by a few days. I'm 35 years old... so thats a great score to make, right? That night I met her... she was dressed slamming good... and was literally a fish out of water... i guess not being comfortable in the bar scene.

Regardless, I was able to #close her one day... f-close her the next. She told me I was her third guy ever in her life. I have alot of experience... so I basically fucked the shit out of her probably. I dunno... girls are sneaky you know. You think she is a sweet innocent young lady... when actually she is a seasoned vet in manipulation I learned.

She, Jennifer... is about 5'7, nice big perky tits, sorta looks like a hippie... well I take that back... more like a hippie that has country in her? Does that make fucking sense? After the second fuck session... she wasnt smelling too ripe... so I dodged her last few attempts at texting and calling me. So for 3 months I dont keep in contact with her.

My friend Cindy, texts me that a band she loves is playing downtown and I should come out.
I havent seen Cindy in well over 2 years since my oneitis I had going on. Cindy, is a hardcore drinker... she can drink men to the floor.

Twice I thought I could hang with her... get her drunk and fuck her... well... I was able to stand.. but my cock was so whiskey dicked... I think it was laughing at me.

She probably thinks Im impodent. So I settled for eating her out... and playing with her big tits. But this was years ago. Water under the bridge. We had a conversation about a month before this text message...about how we should hang out...and be a pivot for each other.
She agreed. Which was cool.

So to test Cindy... I decided to invite Jen... to this gig. Now this fucktart, has me drive downtown to a bar to pick her up. Odd... not her apartment. Its like 12pm. Show is not till 9pm.

Anyway...we go all the way back to my place.

I learn that she is homeless... been kicked out of her place... doesnt want to go back to her parents...no job, she was dressed well... but very little makeup... so her pockmarks were showing...lol.... so she has been sleeping on her friends coutches all over town. No gas money... reason she couldnt drive out to me. O.K. I was 21 too...
but I am not a girl. She is basically a lazy drunken piece of shit. Every story she told me involved: "I was so drunk." "Everyone was laughing at me..."

While we were watching a movie.. I tried to kino escalate... and I got rejected. I was like in shock... and I did a stupid fucking thing ever.... I tried again. I showed fucking needyness... and she instantly recognized it. She had the power... I guess my horniness got the best of me. I was miserable. I watched the movie in silence...which probably made things worst. Luckily the time to go to the show was coming up. I purchased a 12 pack of budlight, gas for the car... not even at the show yet.

I go to the show.... after playing text message tag with Cindy... I finally find her... at a table.... and my gosh... she got big. Again. She is like 200 pounds easily. She is still a sweetheart.

When it came to intro's... I just said this is Jen... no title. I sat at the table... on Cindy's side... I kinda did this on purpose.. for Cindy. In the long run... I knew Cindy will be sticking around... this Jen... Bitch is out. We ordered over $89 worth of drinks... Jen never once opened up her purse. I felt a bit used.

Cindy left early, leaving me $40 bucks....she left to go chase down an old flame of her's.

My friend J called... I didnt feel like bringing this girl all the way back to my place... only to in the morning bring her all the way back here. So J's place was a middle point. J

is staying at his bosses house... the house is total bachelor pad: pool,sauna, hot tub, pool table.. a whole bunch of stuff to do.

We show up at 2am... J is ripped on white... and cant stop talking up Jen. Who partakes as well.
I dont, I never wanted to...never will.

J talks so much shit to her... to the point it's like almost a cockblock.. but at the same time he is ripping on her. She isnt his type... I am drained from being up at 5am at this point... I just want the night to end. We end up staying up all night.

I get her into the hottub.. naked... but then the real owner of the house is up above us on the deck... and says "my kids are here, so Andy... umm... ." I get no ass from this girl... Im basically down over $100 all said and done.

We go back inside... J is finally alseep.

We both crash on the couches... wake up around 1pm. The first thing out of this bitches mouth is as soon as I wake up.."So..where are you taking me for lunch?" I couldn't believe it... I repeated what she said to me really sarcastically...and told her I wasnt hungry. Would you be?

Her cellphone rings... she talks to her mom for a bit... and then I see it.... I am looking at her cellphone address book... and you would think... ok... well maybe things aren't working out with her... but she is 21.. so she probably has a ton of girls around her age.

Nope...

she scrolls down for a number.. and I am watching out of the corner of my eye..... its like a ratio of 14 guy names to 1 girl name. I fucking role my eyes in disgust.

Then to top it off... her phone rings again... and the ringtone screams out some cheesy country western rock tune of " I like dem country booooyyyyyyssss." or some shit.
Literally I felt so pissed off with myself.

I bring the bitch back to her car, downtown, more gas wasted... and my night is finally over.

Im leaving alot out. But I learned alot that night.... #1... Qualify the girl completely... ask a ton more questions before agreeing to anything for day2 or day3. Dont bring any girls over to J's... he will say the most fucked up non-helpful stuff ever. He is not a wingman by any sense of the word. So when it comes to J's house.. I am there to chill. Not entertain pussy.

The shit he was saying... made me leave the room twice... from boredom... and from just plain embarassment. I thought he would be just chill.. and hang out. Instead it was like the shitiest night ever. Her phone number was deleted. The car was vaccummed out completely.

Field Reports 1-2 - Sports- Russia with Love.

2008-06-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

Met up with my friend Eric at local sports bar that I rarely ever go to since the crowd is usually full of choads, and girls that love choads. I am not going to say I was peacocking but I was wearing: jeans, and my russian CCCP bright red t-shirt that features the oldschool hammer & Sickle on it.

If someone was to ask me what the hell does CCCP mean... I would be fucked. But regardless the shirt does get alot of stares... also I sorta look russian I guess since my ancestors come from there... Riga. Russian jews. Had a fresh new haircut too, to go with my self improvement... nothing dramatic... basically a trimming. I noticed I haven't posted any pics of myself. So I do plan on doing this.

My state was pretty high... happy... and ready to rock. I like my friend Eric. I probably need to come up with a nickname for him on here. Since alot of my future stories are probably going to somehow include him. Eric is a diehard sports fan, and a local sports commentator for a local radio station... though I am not the biggest sports fan... other than the New York Yankees.

This guy never stops talking for the most part. Which is actually someone I enjoy being around when I am out in public. I would much rather be around someone that talks constantly, then someone who just sits around with a blank stare. Eric isn't that overweight or incredibly ugly looking so I dont understand why he has such a low self opinion when it comes to woman.

He will be the first to say "I'll take the ugly one." or "I'll do her fat friend." Part of me improving myself is to turn Eric into a serious wingman with hot woman... not fat, ugly, half-breeds, that start to look good at last call.

Back to the FR, I met up with Eric, his friend Buddha, and a petite lady named Cam. Buddha upon first meeting him... you will be like...damn this is one big fat huge motherfr.

Like my estimate is 300 pounds. For most guys this big, you the reader of these is imagining a sloppy dressed fat man. Hell noez, you would be totally wrong... the guy had a ton of style going on... I think he is in the pua community.

He had literally the uniform on: bracelets, piercings, rings, cool sideburn style.. shirts and clothes were nothing special.. but they made him appear comfortable and well groomed.

Which is probably why the girl was with them... Cam.

Cam, is about 5'4 100 pounds... brown hair, I think irish... I dunno... HB6 in my book. She was wearing a blue dress... and her little boobies were right there. Not big boobs... but she was very proportional. blue eyes. Very petite, not fat. Voice a bit high pitched... scratchy. Eric introduced me to all.

Field Report:
Ok, so now you know the background a little.

Here goes my documentation of events...

When I walked up to my friend and spied the petite girl... I was not sure if she was with Buddha or not. Buddha was pretty laid back... and I definetly knew she wasnt with Eric.

My smalltalk with Cam was very weak. Almost choad like.... but I was building up comfort. I noticed, I had to speak up very loud to be heard in this place. To the point, I got the attention of 2 set at the bar... but they were lame looking. A blowjob would be nice.. thats about it.

The one girl kept looking back at me... I dunno could have been my shirt. The 3-second rule was clocking down... and I didnt enter the set. Later this asshole started chatting them up... and it was fun watching her body language saying to him.. get the hell away from me... and yet the dude just kept pressing along killing her night.

I locked in with Cam... with my foot on the wall behind me... relaxed. Engaged Cam some more into who,what,when,where stuff. She isolated me... with a request to go play the bowling video game.

We left Eric & Buddha.. and went to play... she kicked my ass... no joke. Turns out she is a kitchen&bath designer... which was like gold for me.

Since I am in home textiles... which she shit tested me on... to see if I really knew my stuff. Which was very easy to do... plus I had pictures from my booth in vegas on my cellphone for proof. I sell high-end luxury goods... and these pics proved it. I got buddha's cell number... he was such a cool, laidback dude.

She opened up to me alot more... facing me when I spoke, more eye contact. I did a bit too much DHVing I think. I told Eric about my possible deal with a major department store. How I might be getting 1% of $65million in the comming year if all is good. Soon as I talked about this... eric started with the jew jokes...again. I shrugged off... its his normal shtick he likes to do. Whatever.
We all decided to leave to go to another bar... a lame frat hangout... with all 21 year old kids in there. Hot 21 year old girls... nice to look at. We were the oldest in there I think.

We kinda just hung around and drank... nothing special. Cam, was getting drunker... and louder.
Like her undertone of redneckness was starting to show. So I placed her in another category of ladies for myself. I'd fuck her... but thats about it. because I can already tell... it would be drama dating her. I was starting to get bored.. and wanted to bounce out. Told everyone I was going to Speakeasy's ... and Cam..gave a big pouty face and said "awww... why dont you stay." I told her I might come back..

she hands me her business card... and gives me a long hug. It was nice and all... but I didnt want to be a total douchebag and extract her from my two friends. So I ejected...again.. I got a bunch of stares at my Russian tshirt. The other bar sucked... didnt feel like driving back to downtown... so I went home. 3am. So technically I #closed a HB6. I still have not called her... dont really want to. I did send her an email... got no reply. Might not be working.

Last night I bookmarked an awesome russian mail order bride website that featured a ton of russian language statements. All kinds of terms of enderment, hellos, goodbyes... next time I wear this shirt... Im going to act a bit russian... see what happens.

Day 2 Mission 2 & 3

2008-06-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

Mission 2 was to listen to an audio tape and zone out. Like I mentioned before... I got too distracted last time.. and it just felt ridiculous. I guess hypnosis style audio isnt for me... I couldnt keep listening to the dream music and echoish style voice... it was just to sci-fi for me.
I'll try again.. but damn is the audio long. I'll try right before I go to bed.

Mission 3 was to remember peoples eye color. Which was unique, you start to observe alot of games with the eyes... they bug out, wander, squint, you can tell heaps about a person via their eye contact no doubt about that. I got to admit I do have a problem looking some guys directly in the eyes in certain settings. I'm not gay, and its like my gaydar goes off sometimes... and then I get uncomfortable... and then the dude gets uncomfortable.. and then its like... blah.. get the fuck away from me.

Even if its the most natural simple handshake and eye contact. My gaydar starts to pulse and its like "warning, gaydar is detecting a micro signal of possible gayness in the vicinity, proceed with caution." I wish my communcation or should I say sub communication was more in control and that I dont automatically think "this guy is a fag." when I talk to a stranger.
Dont get me wrong, I know there are very attractive men around... and I guess I get intimidated or something. It doesnt happen every time, thankfully. Theres lots of cool people to meet in this world.

Day 2 - Mission 1 - Set Your Goals

2008-06-13T09:23:00.001-07:00

I have so many accomplishments that I want to do in my life, financially, personally, but I guess since this blog is basically all about my dating life so I will keep my answers focused on that.

What three accomplishments would you like to achieve to make you happier?

I want to be able to make fearless approaches in any social situation to the HB 9's and 10's in this world and either f-close or #-close with ease.
I want to be surrounded by a lot of really good trustworthy friends in my social circle.
I want to live a balanced, healthy life of work and play.

What are the reasons these accomplishments will make you happier?

Being able to make fearless approaches to absolutely stunningly gorgeous woman would make me happier, because a very pretty girl on your arm opens up the world in many many ways socially. My brother has probably one of the hottest girls in his life right now, and he is a total choad on the phone. He is wealthy and that was probably the catch with this girl, but whatever he has her... and when we go out... walk into a place... EVERYONE turns their head to look. Thats alot of power!
I am not exactly thrilled with my current group of friends, there have been far too many times where I wanted to go and do something... and I catch a bunch of lame excuses as to why they cant come out. Plus, I just dont feel that connection with this set of friends I currently have. I know its just TV, but I see these sets of friends who will basically do anything for each other. I am a compassionate person, who always wants to see my friends successeed and be successful. I want to be surrounded by mature goal oriented people with vibrant personalities and zest for life.
I dont want to live like other people that live paycheck to paycheck... that has to suck so bad. I want to be able to do anything I want with out worry about the cost. I dont want to balance my life around a paycheck as in... work two weeks, pay bills with that money, work another two weeks.. finally go out and play. I want to be able to work my hours... go out every single night if I want and not have to worry about the electrical bill or up and coming credit card bill.

What is your personal mission?

Ok, once again... since this is a dating theme blog... this is my answer...

I will become a natural pick up artist
who will have zero approach anxiety within a year.

List three specific results that will let you know that you've accomplished your mission.
I will have accomplished every approach naturally with zero feelings of approach anxiety.
I will have a very large network of quality friends in my social circle.
I will have a very busy social calendar with multiple girls: both friends and lovers.

Why are you now fully committed to pursuing your personal mission?

Because if I do not fully commit now, I will continue to suffer over the next years and

my relationships will continue to attract the wrong people for me.
my sense of worth will decrease, and I will retreat socially.
I just wont be happy with my life.

I am a good catch, with alot of potential I want to share.

But if I do pursue it now, I will enjoy the next years and my

quality of life will only increase.
socially active and fullfilled
I will be able to attract a fantastic woman to share my life with.

Audio recording: I need to find it again, I listened to it before... and it really didnt send me off into lala land with good vibes. It was kinda lame to be honest... but I will try it again before I go to bed.

Day 1 - Mission - Chat with 5 strangers today.

2008-06-13T09:01:00.000-07:00

This was pretty easy, I flew through this little mission... not going to bore you with the details... basicaly I spoke with 2 clerks, 2 guys that work with my friend that I never met before... which turned into a long interaction with the one kid. Last was this guy yelling at his friend that Boston Redsocks suck... which was great I jumped into that conversation because I am a diehard Yankee fan.

If anything, I think I am going to modify this mission to make small talk to 5 woman a day... practically every day. If anything fruitful comes form these small talk conversations I'll post it.. but its just small talk.

Small talk comes fairly natural to me.

But there are still alot of occasions where I just dont want to talk to anyone... I'll go into a store or where ever... do what I need to do... then get the hell out.
It's wierd that it effect my eye contact too, I look more at the floor or other things then at the people around me. Approach Anxiety perhaps.... like when I wait for my change from the clerk... I am looking down at my hands...or that awkward silence waiting for an elevator... standing in line.... so if anything... I need to keep my head up and engage more people with a smile, a nod, and some light small talk.
It is funny some times when you jump in with small talk... the other person is sometimes bewildered for a moment... and then they calm down and usually reciprocate. If not... well fuck them.

The Chains That Bind - Limiting Beliefs

2008-06-13T08:27:00.001-07:00

I still have some limiting beliefs that hinder me.
I need to better commit to moving in for an approach via the 3-second rule. I start over analyzing the situation... then I get trapped in this.. is she looking at me.. she must be looking at me... I'll look at her... yea she is.. wait.. no.. the wall behind me does have some interesting things on it.. maybe she is looking at that. Then it gets creepy...and I dont approach. My limiting belief at that moment is possibly... she cant be checking me out... theres like a billion dudes in this place, so I waste time second guessing myself... and dont commit to moving in for an approach.
This is something I need to work on.
I'll post a field report shortly about this happening to me twice last night.

Day 1 - Mission 1 Evaluate Myself.

2008-06-12T12:41:00.000-07:00

Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you.

A bit lazy, free spirit, incredibly moody, well traveled, business oriented,has great potential.

Write one or two sentences describing how you'd like to be perceived by others.

Friendly, open personality, quick thinker, high value, well rounded, playful, fun, respected.

List three of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change.
My Approach Anxiety varies like crazy to high and low, my voice is deep and sometimes is not heard in loud environments. Letting variables that are completely out of my control get the best of me.

List three new behaviors or characteristics you would like to adopt.
a vibrant conversationalist, quick wit, little to no AA.

My Notes: I am moody, meaning at any given time I have a different self opinion. I can be king of the world, to crown of shit on any given day. So evaluating myself... I tried to find the roots of what I want to change... but I still feel my head swimming in this funk of no... no... naa, thats not exactly it. So this is the best I can do on these questions.

Details on my oneitis.

2008-06-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

[B]Thanks in advance for reading all this... I seriously need help.[/B]
I have had some good and some really bad experiences via online dateing... I totally like meeting and engaging people in person instead. Letting the chips fall where they lie.. and learning to better myself from here and other self improvement sources.

Details on my Oneitis:

So along time ago... 1 year... I basically told my oneitis that I am completely done with myspace, facebook, and all that other online chat worlds...yahoo chats. I told her this and told her over the phone my password to my email account on myspace.

I didnt think too much about it at first, I never cheated on her, I love her very much.

30 minutes later I get a call from her, asking me who is this girl in this one email...When I was confronted, I didnt think much of it, didn't really remember who she was talking about.. I never cheated on her like I said... but my blood pressure went through the roof as I logged in... and quickly deleted hundred of emails I left in my sent box.

Emails that were not all from girls, alot were DLV's of chatter between me and guy friends sharing old war stories and crazy times that you dont tell a girl. Also emails from successful F-closes, and other girls prior to her. Kept like trophies of past flings.

The deathblow was this one email she read that was dated on her birthday.

It basically totally wrecked our relationship. Trust became a huge issue... she was totally in love with me... and I never really knew it. I hold off on telling a girl I love her... this one... after several months of dating her I did. It was a big step for me... and I wanted to be completely honest with her.

background story is this... She is latina... and her father was going to be at her birthday.. it was to be my first time meeting him. In the past, I dated a Columbian girl, and totally messed up with her father and never gained his approval. Which killed that relationship completely. I was never accepted by her family. I failed to shake his hand the moment I met him, ( details: it was -30 degrees outside..and all I was thinking was let me in the house.. not shake his hand, and all that banter to get his approval at the front door. I been to the house a thousand times before while he worked..this time he was home. I walked past him and just said hello. lesson learned.)

My inner game kills me:

I was so positive that this current relationship will probably end the same way...I'll make some kind of cultural blunder..and I will be an outcast, again. A big self confidence issue with myself.... and not wanting to be instantly alone..again...so I started making other plans... a plan b, before her birthday. So I started flirting online a bit. emailing introductions to prospects...Moving from one relationship to the next is alot easier for me... then starting from ground zero.

Turns out the meeting with her dad went incredibly well, I was reliefed... so I never followed up with ANY of the started email flirting. I was now really in love with this girl. I shoke his hand and made lasting eye contact, and everything else I could. Wonderful night. I completely forget about the emails to prospects.

Months later, We get into this huge fight, when a friend of a ex-gf wanted to start being friends with my girl. I didnt trust this at all. It was like hanging out with a spy. As a matter of showing complete trust to her... I give her the password to my email/ myspace account... since this was how I met that ex...and my girl.

I didnt bother cleaning out my send box. It was all old shit from months ago as far as I was concerned and insignifigant to our relationship.

She read's the one email that was dated on her birthday... This was like a deathblow.

We had a horrible night crying and arguing. She felt so hurt by me. But I never ever cheated on her. Everything became completly messed up for months now. I still love this girl.

She is now on pills for depression, for other issues going on... unemployed or little work, lots of bills, low self esteem. We talk on the phone more then we see each other now. We do get together... but the feeling is there.. and then its not..at the same time. Its really hard to move on.
She still has a profile on there... she swears to me that she is not seeing anyone... and that she is only on there to keep in touch with people back home. Yet, though her profile is private... it says, Single.

Its really hard to move on... I am in a small town... and considering throwing my net back into that myspace ocean. But its like confirming that I cant wait for things to get better between us. Worse would be tell her I am going back onto myspace... or to just go back on... and she finds me.

I feel like I broke her, and this isnt the person that I want to be known as in her world.

My birthday is coming up... our communication has been pretty weak. I was thinking about seeing what she acts like around my birthday. Her's was a month ago.. I bought her some really basic gifts. I already tried to buy her back via Valentine's day and other social events... but she is still depressed. Her father didnt come this year.

I relaxed on trying everything to get her back. I been focused on work, and improving myself in thousands of ways, maybe in the future things will turn around?

I really dont want this to end... she is total marriage material to be honest... and its killing me. A worthless email ruined everything. Her parents love me.. and mine love her.

I am not going to say that I dated... but I have #closed and f-closed a few meaningless girls during our downtime. Since me and oneitis havent had sex in months. But I have like zero feeling for these girls, it just beats masturbating. I use protection, and I got a blood test to make sure I was safe. After the blood test, I just felt pretty numb to sex... I basically game like a girl.. to get validation that I am still desired by females. I look at the #'s I get at the end of the night...and then I just toss them away. Then I think about this girl. Alot of this lifestyle change I am doing is to hopefully get her back... but if it doesnt... I will be fully prepared to move on...with a tighter game. So when I #close a girl... it feels better than sex...because I want my old girl back.

Its even harder to ask for advice... because your going to assume alot of generalities from similar types of break ups.

She is at this point, content with being alone for the rest of her life with her dog. She says I broke her.. because when she mets new people... now she has thoughts in her head as to "what does this person really want from me? Can I trust them." She says things like if I found these emails on her computer you would be just as upset. But the fact is I never cheated on her. She was my best friend. We are both in our mid 30's, btw.
I need to improve alot of things in my life. Hopefully, as I improve... she will want to return to me. In the meantime, I am doing all this self improvement for pretty obvious reasons. A better life in general.

StyleLife Challenge - My Journey, every step.

2008-06-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

Decided to document my journey through 'The Game'.... and some other challenges I made for myself. Woohoo! If this blog gets past 30 days of post... I, myself will be amazed!

My current situation is this: I am in a complicated relationship that has basically hittin the skids. Need I say more... no. If you, the internet traveler that has stumbled upon this blog...are familiar with the vernacular of the pua community... I had a very bad case of oneitis.

I know that I need to improve... in a lot of areas of my life... so this is my journey: